Where She Knows Something Is Wrong
I don't know myself, I wish I knew what I want or what I'm here for but I don't know and It scares me. Do I really want to expose myself to all those judging eyes? Why is it so hard to be a teenager these days; its like you can never be as perfect as the rest of the girls on social media.
You see them as they want to, as if they were perfect but their not, no one is. But could I do that?
I don't think I could, I'm dorky, I watch too much anime for my own good, I'm obsessed with my not really furry hedgehog and I would rather stay home and cuddle then be an actual teenage girl.
But sometimes I want to do it, I want to be girly, I want to have guys texting me about how cute I am, but i'm not any of those things. While suffering from the experiences for the last two years my anxiety has increased and so has my sporadic fits of depression.
Yes I do smoke and all those people that don't think its good for you have all gave me that look of pity that I'm killing 's myself and my lungs. I get it, it's wrong but I can't help it. It relaxes me, makes those sleepless nights not so sleepless, it slows down my racing thoughts and I can't help but use it as a stress reliever.
I hate how its such a crime for me to want to be normal just for a couple hours, and I hate it, and yes I have emotions still, yet at the same time i'm not in tune with them anymore so they confuse me at times.
So to answer your question; everything is wrong with me.
That's all for now thanks and goodbye beautifully cruel world.
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My Truth
Non-FictionWhen I was 13 & 14 I wanted to Die When I was 15 I was Numb When I was 16 I felt Broken When I was 17 everything was out of reach When I was 18 I learned to move on When I was 19 I had to let go When I was 20 I finally felt free As A 21 year old I...
