Baka Pwede Pa | SB19 - STELL AJERO

Special Chapter 1

A/n: As promised, I'll be posting 3 special chapter for this story. 2 more special  chapters to go. For now enjoy this one 😊 Btw, I'll be posting Justin's story entitled "Mapapansin Mo Ba" and Ken' story entitled "Sa Susunod Na Habang Buhay" tonight 😉 so check it out. Love you all, keep safe xoxo

Marize’s POV

“Nasan ba talino mo Marize ha? Nag-aaral ka sa exclusive school for teachers pero ganiyan ka ka-tanga? Nag-aaral ka ba talaga?”

Sa bawat araw na lang na ginawa ng Diyos sa buhay ko, laging ganito ang naririnig ko sa bibig ng Daddy ko. Hindi ko alam bakit parang sa tuwing makikita niya ako ay laging mainit ang ulo nya sa akin. Hindi ko alam kung dahil ba sa trabaho o talagang galit talaga siya sakin?

“Simpleng gawain hindi mo magawa ng tama tapos hihingi ka pa ng sarili mong unit? Ang lakas ng loob mo e mag hugas nga lang ng plato di mo magawa ng tama. Hindi porket angat ka sa buhay e mag-aasta prinsesa ka na. Wala kang mararating sa buhay mo kung ganyan ka.”

Ever since I turned eighteen, nag bago na lahat. Since I am now on my legal age they are expecting me to be more dependent in life that’s why iilan na lang ang helper namin dito sa bahay. I tried my best to learn every household chores, pero that time nung may nabasag akong dalawang plato, that’s the time my parents question my whole existence. Pati pag kuha ko ng course na education kinuwestyon nila.

Since that day, I got afraid to make mistakes around our house lalo na pag nandito lang sa bahay si Daddy. I feel suffocated all of a sudden that’s why I asked them if I can have my own unit na so I can show them that I can live independently, that I don’t need a helper to serve me. But that was a mistake, nagalit na naman sa akin si daddy. Si mommy? She’s always on my dad’s side. As usual they only see me as a failure.

Every night I cry myself out just to force myself to sleep. Sobrang sensitive ko kasi talaga, and ayan din yung isa pa sa kina-iinisan ng parents ko sa akin. Every night I keep on overthinking things, I always question my worth; I always end up doubting my abilities. Slowly I am losing my confidence that ends up affecting my studies and social interactions. Pakiramdam ko kasi everyone see me as a failure too.

This feeling of helplessness, confusion, unbearable pain and unending pain continues month after month. Until I can no longer feel myself anymore, I am so drowned with my own thoughts. It feels like I am alive but barely living. Each passing days, it’s getting worst. Until I can no longer take it, I need to let it out. I want to let go all of these emotions, all of these thoughts, all of these. Pagod na pagod nako.

Not thinking properly, I sneaked out of our house one evening. I walk without a specific destination. I just want to get out of our house. I can no longer endure the suffocation I am feeling inside that house. I continued walking and walking, clearly blinded by my thoughts. Napahinto ako sa paglalakad nang marealize ko na nasa may ayala bridge na ako. Ganito na pala kalayo ang narating ko? Hindi ko man lang naramdaman yung pagod at sakit ng paa ko. Maybe because I got numb already – physically, mentally and emotionally.

I stared from nowhere. I was thinking of jumping off this bridge. Yes I am thinking of ending my own life. I want to end this suffering already. I was already climbing off the bridge when I hear a man shouting and running towards my direction.

“Hoy! Miss wag kang tatalon!” I heard him shouting it. I stopped, looked at him. I dozed off when I see him up close.

“Magpapakamatay ka ba ha?” I heard him asked me. I look at him intently, seeing every fine detail in his face.

He looked like an angel fall from above. He looked stunning. He has this bright aura around him, that makes him look more attractive.

“Hoy miss, may problema ka ba? Bakit ka tatalon dito. Alam mo bang masamang magpakamatay?” He asked me again. I backed at my trance when I feel him shake my shoulder. Hindi ko namalayan na naibaba na niya pala ako. Ganoon na ba ako katagal na nakatitig sa kaniya?