When Shit Went Down (Warrior Cat FanFic)

Chapter 3 - Gooseleg's POV

I opened my eyes to a sudden screech out in the camp. Where am I? This isn't StarClan, I realized as I sat up. I had totally forgotten the scream until it sounded again a few heartbeats later. I trotted out of the medicine den and looked around the unfamiliar clearing.

A ginger tom was screaming at a light grey tom who had relieved himself near the fresh-kill pile. "How many times do I have to tell you to shit somewhere else? Huh?" The ginger tom yowled in anger, his fur fluffed up and claws unsheathed. "I-I'm sorry, I couldn't hold-" The grey tom whispered, backing away. "Liar!" The ginger tom snarled, getting ready to pounce.

I just sat back with my tail curled over my legs.

A muscular tom hurried over, growling loudly, "Greenshit, Toomanypersonalitiesstorm! Enough!" A white stressed-looking tom rushed over with a blue she-cat close behind. A black tom with thorns wrapped around his muzzle tried to get the barrier off of his mouth, eagerly stumbling toward the scene that had broken out in claws and blood.

I came to realize whom these cats were, and I didn't even know how. Cannibalcorpse was the black one. He was completely insane, loving the taste of cat meat and blood. Fartcloud, a brown she-cat, rushed over to Greenshit to tear the stinky cat away from Toomanypersonalitiesstorm, farting a storm on the way.

I cringed and shook my head. Just before I could leave the scene and go into the safety of my medicine den, I looked behind me as a creamy tom prodded me with his front paw. It was IcantbelieveImnotbutterface. His eyes were wide with panic and I sighed. "Yes?"

"Can you check to see if I'm butter? I feel like I'm butter. Do I look like butter to you? I do, don't I... Is there a cure for being butter? I feel like Cannibalcorpse will eat me because I'm butter. Will he eat me?" The words came out of the creamy-white tom as if he was throwing them up, question after question agitating me even more.

"I reassure you, IcantbelieveImnotbutterface, that you're not butter and that you are a mentally insane cat. The only herb you need is sleep and to stop worrying so much, which only you can do." I growled, turning around to leave. "Sleep isn't an herb. Butter sounds like one, though. I'm not butter? How can that be? I have constant dreams that I melt in the sun, and I think it's a sign!"

"Those are not signs, they're nightmares. Come with me, I think I have just the herb for you." I muttered. The tom was hot on my heels as I entered my den. Does he not know what 'personal space' means?

I grabbed the Thyme from my shelves and nudged it toward the distraught tom. "Take this, it'll calm you down." IcantbelieveImnotbutterface tilted his head, puzzled, then opened his mouth to say something. I inturrupted him before he could ask anything. "Just eat it. You'll calm down." I sighed.

Without speaking - which was a relief - the tom ate the herbs quickly. "Okay, you can go now." I meowed, nudging the tom out of the den in a hurry. I watched him steer clear of the sun and Cannibalcorpse. Just as I looked away, yet another cat came in. This time I realized I wasn't pained to see her. My brain told me she was my apprentice, and her name was Kissmyass.

Kissmyass held herbs in her muzzle, bundled up - not so - neatly. "I went out to get Catmint from StonerClan. Some of these cats need to seriously relax. I also got Horsetail, Thyme, Poppy Seeds and Lamb's Ear." She meowed after dropping the herbs.

"Sort them and get rid of any withered herbs," I instructed. "I'm going to check on the Clan." Kissmyass dipped her head as I exited the den.

Toomanypersonalitiesstorm sat with Bluecloud, happily chatting up a storm. Bipolar much? Great StarClan... Bluecloud just nodded every once in a while with a look of annoyance and impatience. I glanced around the camp to see Ineedmorebigmacsbelly eating all the fresh-kill. Sighing, I knew I had to do something before an insane cat went over to him instead of a cat like me.

"You shouldn't be eating all that prey. Others need it more than you." I growled, after I halted behind his fat body. The tom looked over his shoulder while licking his lips. "Sorry," He mumbled, prey spitting out of his mouth. I rolled my eyes and went over to the front of him to grab all the prey - the ones he didn't touch - and put them into the tiny, pathetic pile.

He rolled away with the prey pressed to his fat chest, grunting in the effort. I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "Snakeslither, Bluecloud," I called to the guards. The two looked over at me and headed over quickly, Bluecloud's eyes relieved. "Go out hunting, thanks to Ineedmorebigmacsbelly, we're low." I sighed.

The two nodded happily and headed out of the camp.

Just as I started toward the medicine den again, I overheard Whisperwind whispering to someone. I glanced over to her and snorted to myself. Crazy as a bat.

"How dare you?" She hissed. I sat down beside the medicine den and listened with my eyes the opposite way. "That's rude, Bumble! Hey! Quiet, Snow is trying to speak, which is nearly impossible with your loud voice filling the clearing!" She growled to the something I couldn't see.

"You're right. Bumble go away!" Whisperwind ordered. "You are a jerk and Snow doesn't like you and neither do I!"

Purring, I stood up to go help Kissmyass. This Clan is messed up. What was I sent here for? Oh well. Couldn't be too important.