Wʜᴀᴛ A Hᴇᴀᴠᴇɴʟʏ Wᴀʏ ᴛᴏ Dɪᴇ ! ♔︎ Jɪᴋᴏᴏᴋ

꧁ Chapter three ꧂

He scribbled, making words to dance on a blank sheet which only had pain crafted to it, under the yellow light that flashed from the table lamp next to him. Instead that, his room was drowned in darkness.

Jimin's mother once told him to write his thoughts in a paper when he was a child. She was true, pulling his thoughts out of him and displaying them in his eyes always helped him to know what he actually felt and to understand what he really had to do. Since then he had a diary. A boy and a diary is not something that people would usually expect but since when did he care about others' opinions?!

'I would finally close my eyes forever', he scribbled. 'I won't have much time.' Jimin paused for a moment when his eyes filled with tears once again. He couldn't still accept that it was how he would have to end this journey.

Then he left two rules and wrote with a heavy sigh, 'I grew beautiful flowers in me with your favorite color, hoping that one day you would love me back.' Though he knew it would never happen.

A soft chuckle left his mouth which rather came out as a cry when he wrote those words. He remembered how Jungkook used to pluck a daffodil and offer it to him when they passed through the lanes of the university. Jimin would laugh and take it saying that he is too childish.

Jungkook said that yellow is his favorite color because yellow meant only good things. He said that he always see good in everything. But all of that was until last year. Until he got this girl friend whom Jimin had never seen.

Jungkook completely changed after that into a person that he never knew. Albeit, he didn't want to accept it. And that's when he actually started to realize what kind of feelings he had for the younger one. He already missed the Jungkook who used to be.

Jimin slammed his hand on the table as if to threaten himself to stop thinking about Jungkook's memories as he break out once more. Jimin was so sick of those tears running on his flesh.

"Dammit, dammit, dammit..."

Jimin closed the book before keeping the bookmark which was the photo of him and Jungkook's first selfie together, he didn't even want to look at it. And then he put it aside as he took the laptop and started to surf the internet. Jimin should not dwell but do at least something. He knew nothing about Hanahaki, only a tip of the ice berg. It was a rare disease so why would he ever be bothered with finding it out ? And who would have ever thought that his nightmares would come to life ?

Jimin wiped off the tears on his face and sighed.

'Hanahaki' , he typed on it as his hands trembled with the sight of what displayed in front of him, his eyes widening when he went through the information.

There was no way to escape. No where to run. He had no hope.

There was only two ways to cure this damn disease. And neither of them did any help.

First one, receiving his love back which would never happen even in a million years. So that one was useless.

Second one, if he wanted to live, he had to do the surgery and get these flowers out of his lungs. But, that would erase his feelings, his memories and everything about Jungkook. "I - I don't want to", Jimin mumbled as a sudden fear resurfaced his mind. "How am I supposed to do that ?! ", he gripped a handful of hair with both of his hands and pulled on it as he groaned. And then he shut the laptop angrily, cursing himself in thousands of ways.

" I - I would rather die. I don't want to live like that. I could've forget him if I could but this ? What the fuck does this even means ? "

Jimin was madly and whole-heartedly fallen for the brunette. Jungkook ; his obsession, a fatal drug. The dose that Jimin breathed in. And as bad as a drug addict, it wasn't easy to tell Jimin to forget about Jungkook and move on. Even in his one-sided love, that seemed far too impossible. There was no use, he was giving in himself for the overdose.