Jewel

Chapter 28

I don't usually do this because I don't know how to, but a song that I think is perfect for this chapter is Can I Have This Dance from High School Musical and Something Great by One Direction. Hope you enjoy.

Life has been even more miserable since I ran into Jackson at the bar last month. I tried talking to his friends to find out where he went or who he's with. All they will tell me is that he's doing well and it's best if we not see each other. I don't see how he could say that. Didn't he feel the piece missing inside that was reconnected when we were together? Did me miss me at all? Does he even care to know how I am doing?"

All of my questions are met with a resounding no. And that hurts. I don't really know if I can trust his friends though because they seem very cold when I try to talk to them. I don't know if they are actually telling me the truth about my brother. But one thing I know for sure is that Jackson has given up on me. I know that because he hasn't tried to come looking for me or contact me. He could have been freaked out that day just like I was, but he didn't have to run away.

Of course the unlikely encounter with my brother prompted Connor to want to see me again to explain things of my own, but I kept brushing him off saying that I wasn't ready to talk about it. He has done small acts of kindness by ordering me flowers or leaving a coupon to chocolate ice cream taped to my office door. Every gesture is so sweet and thoughtful that I can't let them go unnoticed anymore.

I have agreed to meet him at Central Park this afternoon to finally close up at least one chapter of my life. I am wearing a simple loose black three quarter sleeve shirt with a maroon high waisted skirt with riding boots and black knee high socks.

When I step out of the taxi, Connor is already waiting on a bench under a tree. He is inspecting the butt of the cigarette between his fingers, then he flicks the burnt ash to the ground. I drape my coat over my arm and shuffle over to him. "Hey." I greet lowly.

His attention flickers up to me, then his face lights up when he sees that I actually showed up. "Meredith!" he jumps up to hug me. He smells amazing.

I sit down on the bench with him. "I didn't think you'd actually come." He stomps on the cigarette to put it out.

"Aww man, I was gonna ask for a drag from that." I point to his shoe.

He looks up at me, even more confused. "Since when do you smoke?"

"Since about a month ago when I figured it was better than alcohol to numb my pain." I lean my elbows on my knees and watch all the people bustling about in the park with their kids and dogs and perfect little lives.

Connor taps me on the arm and when I look to him, he is offering me a cigarette. I look between the box and him a couple of times before taking one and letting him light it. He takes another one for himself and we both sit on the bench puffing cancer into our lungs for a few minutes silently. The silence isn't awkward. It's more of a waiting-waiting to be calmed. I turn so that my legs are spread across the bench and my back is leaning into his shoulder.

The cool early afternoon breeze grazes across my face and I drop my head back into the crease of his neck. "Thank you." I start.

"What?"

"Just... thank you. For everything. Your generosity, your understanding, your time... your friendship." I reposition myself so that my head is basically resting in his lap. Neither one of us say a word about it; it just happens. I don't mean anything by it, other than I am physically, emotionally, and mentally tired.

"You're welcome" he brushes the top of my hair with his free hand and I flick my burnt ash to the ground.

"What's it like?" I ask.