Sweet Caroline

#10 Final goodbye and a new start

"Please, just take it," I say almost pleading, holding the key out to Nathan. "Don't make a big deal out of this."

"You're trying to give me a spare key to your apartment," he argues, still not reaching for it. "That's a fucking big deal, Caroline."

"No, it's not," I insist. "If you really knew me, you'd know that I forget my keys at least once a month. I'm sure you don't want me ending up kicking my door in there rain again, do you? I don't know anyone in this town who I trust yet. Just keep the key so I can text you if I mess up again. I promise I will ask you for the key back when I find someone else to give a key to."

"Are you sure?" he asks, hesitating. "I don't really know you, after all. You sure don't know me. What if I never give the key back to you? What if I turn out to be a crazy stalker and I show up here whenever I want? Do you really want to hand me the keys to your kingdom?"

"If you were a stalker, you wouldn't be warning me that you might be one." I can't help but smile at how uncomfortable he is. "Come on, Nate, I need to leave for work in a minute. Just take it. Doesn't mean you have to see me again. You can just throw it in the mailbox when I eventually text you to let you know I found someone else I trust."

Finally, he gives in and put the key in his pocket. His eyes linger on my face for a moment, a sad smiling spreading across his face. We had sex in the kitchen one last time only half an hour ago, unable to help ourselves. Even though I was still raw from last night, I wanted him inside of me one last time.

"Come one, Nathan," I urge, not wanting to start all over again. We already said goodbye three times and this needs to be it. I can't take any more or I will cry. I have to leave or I'll be late for my first day. "I really need to go."

"Okay, okay." He rolls his eyes and grabs his bag. He is leaving for work too and I can't help but wonder what he does for a living. He picked up some clothes at his place earlier in the week and he only seems to own sweatpants and suits. He's in a dark blue power suit, a red tie tied expertly around his neck. He looks incredible. It is hard to believe that underneath that crisp suit is a torso full of tattoos and that the hands that tug at his collar were smacking my ass last night.

I figure he must be curious about me as well, trying to figure out what my new job entails. I am wearing black jeans and a simple green blouse. No need for power suits when you're teaching second graders, right?

We kiss by the door, almost like we are a couple leaving for work, knowing they will see each other at dinner. Only we know we won't. This is the last kiss. We don't look each other after that. He just gets in his car and I pull my jacket on and grab my backpack, ready to walk the fifteen minutes to the elementary school. Thank God I arrive on time, half an hour before any of the children will begin to trickle in.

The headmaster meets me with a smile, holding out his hand. He's a man in his early fifties, a prominent beer belly making the buttons on his shirt stretch dangerously, threatening to pop off. He seems nice enough and he made me feel very welcome during the interview.

"Caroline Collins," he says, showing that he remembers me. "We are so glad you could start on such short notice."

My interview was two weeks ago and I guess it is rather unconventional to start a job teaching so soon and in the middle of the term, no less. It's October and I had not expected that I would be doing anything else than my old temp job back in my hometown.

"We were shocked when Hillary decided to travel the world, not giving us proper notice, so we are so happy that you are here to take over her class." He beams at me and rushes me into the small teachers' lounge. It's a small school, fit for a small town, and I quite like that. I will be teaching second grade, one of the two second grade glasses the school has. I will have plenty colleagues, but only two who teach the same grade as I do. I met them during the interview as well. One is about my age, only one year older. Tiffany Green, slender and beautiful, with long blonde hair like Shaughna's, although Tiffany's is definitely dyed. She teaches the other class three days a week. The other is a man in his early sixties with a white beard and a bald head. He looks a bit like Santa Claus, to be honest, round and happy. His name is John Fudge, which is pretty much the best last name ever, as far as I'm concerned, especially since he looks like he eats a bucket of fudge for breakfast every single day. He teaches Tiffany's class two days a week and mine one day a week when I have my day off every Friday. I'd be happy to work fulltime, but it'll be nice to ease into this whole steady job thing. Long weekends are a nice bonus too.

"Hey!" It's Tiffany who is teaching the class on the other side of the wall today, which means I won't see John again till tomorrow. She greets me with a hug and a smile. "I am so happy you're starting today! I've been aching to get some young blood in this old team!" She sticks out her tongue to a colleague standing close by. He's about the same age as John is and he rolls his eyes at her, smiling.

Tiffany takes over from the headmaster and introduces me to everyone before whisking me away so she can show me to my classroom. I know the methods and books they use quite well from one of my old schools, so I'll be able to start without difficulty. I had been planning on doing more prepping and reading than I ended up doing, but I wouldn't trade my week with Nathan for anything. I'll just have to work a little harder this week.

Since it's my first day, it takes a long time before I can actually start the day with the kids. All the parents walk their kids in, even though this school doesn't want parents doing that. They're supposed to drop the kids off at the playground and wait until the day is over to talk to the teachers, so that they won't slow down the start of the day. Today, I make an exception, because I get that the parents want to meet the woman that will be teaching their kids. The parents don't seem sorry that Hillary left at all, but it's obvious that every single one of the kids adored her. I will have to put my best foot forward to gain everyone's trust. I'm used to that, though. Temping is so much harder, because you never get to stay anywhere long enough to actually benefit from the trust you slowly gain. At least now I won't have to leave in a few weeks or months.

Finally, after what feels like ages, the parents all leave the room and I have the kids sit in a large circle to do some games to get to know each other. They are a lively bunch and I have to use all the skills my education and experience have taught me so far to make sure I show them that I am the one in charge while also making the kids feel safe.

By the end of the day, I am exhausted. Absolutely and utterly worn. Tiffany smiles when she sees me slumped in my chair, staring unseeingly at my laptop screen to fill in the daily report that the headmaster has us do every day so the other teachers know what's going on with every kid.

"Did you survive the Thompson brothers?" she asks, sitting down on top of one of the kid's tables.

"Oh," I grunt. "Those twins are so energetic. I already wanted to tie them to their chairs after five bloody minutes."

She laughs at me. "Yeah, they can be a handful. Did Rose throw a temper tantrum yet?"

"Rose?" I try to remember which one she was. I've been working so hard to memorize all their names today. Rose... Her face pops up in my memory. Small girl, 7 years old, big green eyes, wearing jeans and a red shirt. "No, she was really quiet, actually."

"Oh, then it must be her dad's turn this week. Just wait until he drops her back off at her mom's. Poor thing. That mom is every teacher's biggest nightmare."

"Well, you're really making me feel great about this class I'm supposed to be teaching for the rest of the schoolyear."

Tiffany sticks out her tongue and grins. "What's the fun in having a new colleague if I don't get to tease you mercilessly? You're free on Friday, right? Good. You'll need that day to recuperate so you can actually spend the weekend doing fun things without still being drained from your first week. I'm going to the bar with some friends on Friday night. Join us, won't you? Headmaster Jeff told me that you moved here two weeks ago, so I gather you don't know anyone yet. Might be fun to get out after slaving here and meet some people your own age instead of only talking to 7-year-olds."

"Hey, some are 8!" I reply with a chuckle. "That sounds great. I'd love to." She's sweet for trying so hard to make me feel welcome. We're the youngest teachers in the school. There is one woman in her late twenties and a male PE teacher around our age, but the others are all much closer to retiring than Tiffany and me. I get why she wants us to be on good terms. It's much easier navigating both your professional and personal life with some good friends. I sure could use a friend in this town, especially now that Nathan is gone and Shaughna lives three hours away.

"Great!" Tiffany jumps up and claps her hands together. "I'm gonna finish up my paperwork. I'll be in my classroom if you need me. Don't hesitate to ask me anything." She hands me a piece of paper with her number on it. "In case you need to ask me something when I'm not at school. We girls gotta stick together."