Sweet Caroline

#12 Tell me what you want

The second week is slightly less exhausting than the first, but only ever so slightly. The kids seem to be getting used to me, although I did get to see one of Rose's infamous tantrums. She threw her pen at a boy's head and stormed off in the middle of math. I managed to calm her down and get her to apologize to the boy, but I couldn't figure out what the problem was. I talked to my co-teacher John about it, since he knows the kids longer than I do, but he just shrugged.

"She's always acts out when it's her mother's week," he said. "Her teacher from last year tried to talk to the parents about it, but they can barely stand to be in the same room together. Her mom's not even that bad, really. She loves that girl."

I am still determined to find out what Rose's deal is, but that will have to wait until the third week. I spend the weekend hanging out with Tiffany and talking to Shaughna and my parents on the phone. Shaughna was appalled when I told her about my conversation with Danny. She assured me that I had the right to fuck the way I liked to, and that Danny was just upset about Emily. Apparently, Emily had moved in with a girl already and she'd been cheating on Dan for months. That truly sucks, but it isn't my problem.

Even though I still dream about Nathan every night – hot, sweaty dreams that leave me feeling horny as fuck – I manage to stop myself from messaging him. It is difficult, though, especially the day I found the huge box of condoms that he'd left under my bed. I'm staying strong. I don't need sex that badly. And if I do, I'm sure I can find someone who isn't a 41-year-old dad who doesn't need me distracting him from his normal life. For all I know he regrets his week with me.

I don't.

If anything, I miss having him around. Just for sex, of course. Nothing more.

***

"Manny and Tommy," I say, raising my voice and lowering it to sound more menacing than I actually feel. "Sit down and stop making those distracting noises."

They glance at me to see how serious I am. Even though I want to laugh I keep my poker face, narrowing my eyes at them.

"Smart move," I tell them as they comply. "Back to work."

Those Thompson brothers – they're unidentical twins, actually – always try to test my limits, but every day gets easier. They know I don't go easy on them and ever since the parent-teacher conference they know that their dad and I are on the same page. If they screw up in class, I will call him and they'll end up in even more trouble. I'm not actually planning on calling him, but Manny and Tommy don't know that.

Just when I'm looking at my peaceful class with pride, patting myself on the back for making it all the way to the Thursday of my third week without trouble, Rose kicks off. Which is weird, since it's her dad's week and she's supposed to be more at ease then. She pulls her dress over her head and throws it at the boy next to her, screaming at him to shut the fuck up. Thank God she has on a legging and a thin top, or she'd be standing there in just her underwear.

I make it perfectly clear to the class that there'll be hell to pay if they step even a toe out of line – not in those words, but they get the gist – and coax Rose into the hallway.

"I'm not putting on that dress again!" she tells at me. "Never!"

"Okay," I say, kneeling down so we're on eye-level. "I'm not gonna make you. We'll find you a shirt. No problem."

"And pants," she adds. Her anger is already changing into sadness. "I want pants. And my daddy."

"Your daddy isn't here right now, but I can surely get you some pants." It's heartbreaking to see her like this. I know I need to talk to her about the tantrum, but I just feel like she needs compassion more than anything right now. "Just wait here."