Sweet Caroline

#43 Girl, girls, girls

When I broach the subject a few hours later after being on the road for half an hour already, Tiffany remains silent for a long time before turning off the radio and sighing deeply.

"Yeah, you're right. Something is bothering me. I just don't know..." She grunts and I see her hands ball into fists from the corner of my eye. "I'm not sure if I'm ready to talk about it."

"Okay," I reply, unsure whether I should push or not. "I just hope you know that whatever it is, I would never judge you. Can I just ask one thing?"

"Sure."

"Did something happen last night that I should know about? Something Dshawn said? Or Yord? Or Shaughna? Or did I do something wrong?"

"No!" she is quick to reassure me. "You didn't do anything wrong, Car. And I think Shaughna and Dshawn are awesome. And Yord..."

When she doesn't say anything else, I can't help but curse. "Shit, Tiff, did he do something to you? Force himself on you? Hurt you?" How could I be so stupid to think I knew for a fact that he was a great guy just because he had helped me out one time. I don't really know Yord, do I? Oh no, why had I left her alone with him in a strange city, when we were out with my friends? I'm a horrible friend.

"Yord was very sweet," Tiffany says, her voice breaking. "Nothing happened. Or well, everything happened, since we had sex, obviously, but nothing bad happened. He's a great guy and he gave me his number and asked me to please call him so he can take me out on a real date. He is everything I should want in a guy."

"But you don't like him." Why does she think that is big deal? They had a one-night stand. Sure, Yord will be disappointed that Tiffany doesn't want more than that, but it's not like one night together is going to leave him heartbroken. "I'm sure he knew what he was getting into, Tiff. He may be younger than you, but he's old enough to know that one-night stands usually don't end up as long-lasting relationships."

Tiffany sighs. "You and Nathan started out just like that, and the two of you are madly in love."

She got me there. "Sure, but that's just one example. Remember that date with Darius I told you about? That was a hell of a lot worse than you not wanting to see Yord again. What's really bothing you, Tiff?" Does she want a relationship so badly?

"When I was with Yord..." Tiffany pauses and turns her face away from me, gazing out the window. "He tried so hard, Car. He pulled out all the stops to please me, but I just didn't seem to get turned on by him the way I should have been."

"So he didn't make you come?" I ask, still unsure why she's so upset. "I've been there, Tiffany, trust me. It took me until Nathan to figure out that just because I don't come apart within seconds, that doesn't mean that there's something wrong with me. And maybe Yord just wasn't good. That happens."

"No, it wasn't him," she says so quietly that I have to strain to hear her. "And he did make me come. Over and over and over again."

Instead of pushing her to go on, I just remain silent until she's ready to explain what the hell she's talking about. If she liked him, he was nice to her, and he managed to give her multiple orgasms... What was wrong with that?

"I felt so bad for him," Tiffany says, leaning her head back and closing her eyes. "He had been trying to get me off for what felt like hours and he was so very patient, even refused to enter me until I reached my peak first. So I... I closed my eyes and thought of someone else."

Oh... yeah, I could see why she'd feel a little guilty. "You fantasized while sleeping with him. Lots of people do that. As long as you didn't scream out someone else's name during sex, I'm sure he doesn't know."