Sweet Caroline

#19 Fucking pathetic

I did something stupid. Really, really stupid, actually. After my disastrous date with Darius, I drank the entire bottle of white wine I still had in my fridge and I texted Dshawn. At least it wasn't Nathan, so things could have been worse. Still, not my finest hour. I was so sexually frustrated that I took care of myself with one of the vibrators Nathan bought me, but it didn't fix anything. If anything, it made me want a man's touch even more.

Since I knew that Nathan was next door, fucking Annabel, I texted Dshawn, asking him if he wanted to come over this weekend to finished what we started last time we saw each other. At least with him I know where I stand, we both don't want to start a relationship, but we are attracted to each other. He knows what I like, and he's not an asshole like Darius. If he won't call me frigid or talk about Danny this time around, it will work out. I'll finally get to sleep with someone again, someone who isn't Nathan. Someone who actually wants me.

So here I am, standing in front of my closet, trying to figure out what to wear to what's basically a booty call. Dshawn is going to be here around noon, which means I still have half an hour to figure out what to put on. I showered, waxed and shaved everything that I needed to, I smell divine and my hair is blow-dried and pulled into a high pony-tail, because I remember from back in the day that he likes that. All I need now is an outfit.

After fifteen more minutes, I decide to just screw it. Screw it all. We both know that he's driving three hours just to have sex with me. Why should I even bother with an outfit? I grab my grey dressing gown and pull it around me so I can open the door without flashing the neighbors. There. Dressed.

Dshawn rings the bell only seconds later, getting here a bit early. The moment I open the door, his mouth falls open and his eyes widen. He hurries in, shutting the door behind him. He, of course, is fully dressed in jeans, a shirt, shoes, coat, the works.

"Are you..." He gestured at the dressing gown. "Are you...?"

"Naked under this?" I finish for him. With Dshawn, I don't need alcohol to feel brave. I guess that's what happens when you've known someone for a long time and you know exactly what you're getting into. "Yes."

"Fucking hell, Car." He shakes his head in wonder. "What has gotten into you?"

"Nothing yet," I reply with a smile. "I'd like to change that, though."

He laughs at my pun and takes off his coat. "I guess we'll start the tour in the bedroom, like last time?"

I drop the dressing gown in the hallway and enjoy his eyes on me, taking in my naked body with hungry eyes. "Sure, follow me."

Dshawn starts undressing immediately and I lie down on my bed, looking up at him impatiently. I know I'm really acting like a slut this weekend – hell, I've been a slut for months now – but I don't care. Nathan ignited something in me that I didn't even know about and without him to put out the fire, I'm just looking for a way to stop wanting him. Paul and Darius weren't the solution, but maybe Dshawn is. I wish I could just get the hell over Nathan without sleeping with other people, but I have been sexually frustrated for so many years, never having a guy satisfy me in the way I need, that I know I need this. I deserve this. I'll go back to being a good girl tomorrow. Today, I just want to be fucked into oblivion.

Dshawn doesn't disappoint. Instead of trying to push into me immediately like Darius did, he just lays down next to me and pulls me to him. We kiss for a while, our hands moving over each other, teasing and caressing. When I can't take it anymore, I grab his penis and start moving my hand, making him grunt.

"Nipple clamps are on my nightstand," I tell him as I start moving faster. "And a condom, handcuffs, blindfold... Feel free to use any of those."

He shudders and pulls my body closer to him. I can tell that he's getting close to coming, so I slow down and move down to replace my hands with my mouth, but he stops me.