Sweet Caroline

#44 Jealous

Nathan is already at my place when I finally get back home on Monday evening. It was one of those days where everything went wrong. Everything. I had three sick kids in my class whose parents took way too long to arrange for them to be picked up and I had a meeting with some teachers from another elementary school that ran way longer than it should have. On top of that, Tiffany was acting weird around me, apparently already regretting coming out to me.

The worst part was that Elise had come into my classroom to pick up Rose and she had told me that she'd had dinner with Nathan last night. She said that she was positive that he felt the same way she did and that it was only a matter of time before they were getting back together. I know that's bullshit and that Nate is only making an effort to have dinner with Rose and Elise once a week to make sure Rose knows that her parents are on speaking terms and that she has a loving family even though her mom and dad aren't together anymore. Still, it sucks to know that Elise wants my man back. The fact that she seems to think that I am a person she can talk to about that makes me even more uncomfortable.

Thank God that Nathan is right here when I need him, waiting for me with a smile, two pizzas and a glass of wine. We kiss for a moment before I sink down into a chair, my stomach growling. I fill him in on my day as we eat and he tells me about his, which consisted of fending of a rival realtor and negotiating with a rather annoying client. It isn't until we move to the couch and turn on the TV that I remember that we still need to talk about what happened with Jordan.

"Don't," Nathan tells me the moment I open my mouth. "Really, there's no need to explain. I overreacted. I trust you and I'm way too old to get jealous like that."

"Oh." I had a whole speech prepared, but I should have known Nathan is way to mature to let one of my exes get to him. "Erm... okay. Do you want me to tell you about it, or...?"

He shrugs and takes a sip of his wine. "You can tell me if you want to, but I don't want you to feel like you need to explain yourself to me. I know I have nothing to worry about, but..." He grunts and puts his glass down so he can pull me onto his lap. "You've got exes popping up everywhere and even though I hate to admit it, I am jealous. Danny, Jordan, Dshawn..."

"Dshawn?" I repeat. Why is he jealous of him? "He's with Shaughna!"

"You slept with him," Nathan says, looking pained. "When we were apart, trying to do the smart thing by staying away from each other, he's the one you called to get me out of your mind. I know that there's nothing between the two of you and that even if he would try something, you wouldn't do that to me. Still, he's your ex and with my past..."

Of course. How could I forget? It makes sense for him to worry about infidelity with everything Elise put him through. We both know I won't do that to him, but that doesn't mean he is not going to worry about it. I should have been more mindful of that. He may be older and very mature and in control of himself, but he's also got a hell of a lot more baggage than I do. I keep forgetting how much he's been hurt by Elise.

"I love you," I tell him, moving in for a kiss. "And just so you know, you're not the only one who gets jealous."

"I know." Nathan grins, his eyes sparkling in amusement. "I love your cute little fits. And don't think I don't notice how you flinch when we talk about my dinners with Elise and Rose. I actually like that you get jealous about those things, while at the same time being mature enough not to be too upset about it."

We talk about things for a while, filling each other in on everything that went down with Jordan and Elise, but eventually clothes start coming off and he pulls me on top of him so I'm straddling him on the couch. I sink down on him, letting out a deep sigh at how amazing it feels when he's inside of me. Usually, he takes care of me first, but we both just need to become one as soon as possible, needing the reassurance that only sex can truly give us. The trust that it takes for me to have sex with him without a condom, the way we don't need words to express how much we love each other, the easy matter in which we tune into each other when we're this close... No matter how great our talks are, the language our bodies speak has no comparison.