Sweet Caroline

#39 Scary little thing called love

When my parents leave late that night, Nathan and I both feel drained. My mom and dad had been perfectly nice to him all evening, but I could tell that meeting the parents arrived too soon for him. Hell, it had come too soon for me as well. I never would have chosen tonight of all nights to introduce him to them.

"So..." He looks at me with an unreadable expression as he rinses out my parents' glasses. "That was... interesting."

"That's an understatement." I throw out the empty pizza boxes and grab my wine glass to take a big gulp. I had only downed one glass while my parents were here, wanting to be sharp while they asked me and Nathan all kinds of questions. Now that they are gone, I'm more than ready to take the edge off. "I am so sorry to spring them on you like this. I hope you know that I did not plan this. They just showed up."

Nathan smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "I know you didn't plan this, honey. No need to explain. I'm just..." He shrugs and diverts his eyes from mine. "I guess I just need a moment to wrap my head around the fact that I'm dating Magda's kid."

That's exactly what I am scared of. He's calling me honey, which is a good sign, I guess, but he's also calling me a kid. Even though tonight went better than I expected it too, it also made the age difference between us painfully obvious. Nathan is my parents' age, not a peer. He knew my mother when she was a teenager.

"I'm not a kid anymore," I say softly, hating how weak I sound. "And it's not like we didn't know that you're older than I am."

Nathan grunts and walks over from the kitchen. Instead of taking his usual spot on the couch, he sits down in the chair my father occupied all night. Not a good sign.

"I know you're not a kid," he agrees, meeting my gaze with a sigh. "And your parents are really nice. I honestly don't think tonight could have gone any better. The fact that your mother was there when I was 18 actually helped, no matter how weird that sounds. I doubt your dad is thrilled with your choice in men right now, but at least your mother likes me. Still... I don't know, Caroline." He's fidgeting, something he never does. "Your parents... they're my age."

"I know." I wasn't sure what to say to make him feel less weird about this. "They were young when they had me, Nate. Mom was only 19 when they got married, 20 when she had me. Dad was 23 when I was born. That's pretty young. I mean, you were in your thirties when you had Rose. Just because my parents are only a few years older than you are, doesn't mean that I'm a kid, Nate. As of today, I'm 25. You said yourself that you think I'm mature. I've got a job, my own apartment, a savings account, a car." I take a deep breath, trying to keep myself from rambling any more than I already am. I'm nervous as fuck. I just hope he won't change his mind about me. "Besides..." I try to keep my tone light and decide to joke around a bit. "You didn't seem to be all that concerned about my age when you fucked me in that chair you're sitting on right now."
That gets me a small smile from Nathan before he turns serious again. "Caroline, I just... I don't know. I'm glad that your parents are okay with you dating me, I really am. I just don't know if this is the right thing for you. I complicate your life way more than a boyfriend should."

"Please," I scoff, "not this again. I thought we were past this. Do you still feel the same way about me you did before my parents barged in here?"

"Yes," he replies immediately. "Of course I do."

"Good." I can't help but smile at how quick he always is to assure me that he likes me. "I feel the same way. In fact... I think there's something I should tell you."

He frowns. "Another surprise? I don't think I can take another shock tonight, Caroline. My old heart might just stop beating."

I roll my eyes at him calling himself old again and take a deep breath to calm my nerves. I hadn't been planning on telling him tonight, but I just feel like I need to get this out in the open. He's obviously worried that he's not good for me, that I could do better. I need him to know that I'm all in, that I'm not going anywhere. That even when he thinks he's not right for me, I am absolutely certain that he is.