Pure | Cate Blanchett

Chapter 16

Cate

The days always passed quickly with her. Her young body is still tan and soft. I trace my fingers all over her exposed stomach, leaving goosebumps in my wake. Her chest rises and falls slowly as she sleeps peacefully next to me.

Her bedside table has various clutter on it. The books she was holding when we first met are blocking her bedside clock. I'm not worried about the time, I have Amanda in my arms.

Her heartbeat sings against my ear as my head rests on her chest. I can't get over her skin. How soft it is to the touch. Her legs are entangled with mine and her arm is wrapped around me.

This feeling is what I've wanted in life. The fuzzy feeling in my heart. The butterflies in my stomach. The addiction to a single person. Spending the rest of my life with that person. I know Amanda is that person for me. Yet I can't have her.

I take in her wonderful smell on more time before I slowly start to get out of her bed. I know she set her alarm for 1:30 so she can get ready for her shift that starts at 2. I check the time on my phone as I get dressed and relax as I see I have plenty of time to get out of here.

I thought I had cried all my tears as I took out all the cash I had in my purse. I made sure to withdraw as much as I thought would be the appropriate compensation for what I need to do. Placing it next to her ashtray, I take one more look around the small home I have come to find it my favourite place.

I hear Amanda take a deep breath in her sleep. She looks so peaceful in her slumber. I take out my phone and walk closer to her and take a picture of her. I at least would like one thing to remember her with.

I look over everything one more time before I leave. I may have taken one of her shirts as well, but she doesn't need to know that. I drive home in silence. The pain in my chest is still unbearable. I have given myself over a week to accept what I needed to do, it just wasn't enough.

I walk through the door eventually to the house and head to my room to get comfortable. I hide the shirt I stole and then head downstairs to the kitchen where Andrew is sitting at the bar in his computer.

"Thank you," is all he said. I don't respond to him. I just make myself a little food and walk to the laundry room. I lock the door behind me so I am not interrupted. Sitting in front of the same machine where Amanda let me see deeper into her life, I eat my food and sit in silence.

Memory after memory floods back like a movie. All out special moments and those I could give back as well. The lake, the laundry room, her room, the abandoned park and bar. All those moments that led to this one. Especially the one that kickstarted it all. The night at the motel weeks ago.

I never thought I could feel the way Amanda makes me feel. I thought I had felt it before, but now I realize it was just a minor version of what was possible. I thought Andrew was the one for me. We all knew it was really Amanda who truly was formed to fit just against me.

A single tear falls down my cheek and I take a deep breath. This was going to hurt like a bitch. I open my eyes and look around, the daylight enters the small window creating a subtle and soft glow in the room.

I try to feel her again. Sliding my hand under my dress I attempt to imitate my precious Amanda and the way she has with me. I knew what I liked, and it worked. It just didn't work the way I wanted it to.

The only explosive orgasms I'll have in my lifetime will be with her. Yes, I have now gotten off with Andrew, but it's like when I'm by myself, especially now. I feel good, just not what Amanda could help me feel.

We only knew each other for weeks, yet they were the best weeks of my life. I will cherish the memories we made together forever, and I am grateful for sharing them with Amanda, the one for me. No age gap can block what we have, but a previous marriage can apparently.

I truly fell in love so fast. Over the course total of a month, after many weeks of us together. I fell in love in October, and I will celebrate it with love and always remember the gift this month brought.

I truly thought we would be together forever. Life had different plans. I am grateful for what time I did get with Amanda. I just wish I had more time.

"Cate!" I heard Andrew call from somewhere In the house. I get up and exit the laundry room and go to see what he needs.

"There you are! Do you want to go out to eat tonight?" I look at the time and realize I spent the entire rest of the day thinking about Amanda and me. I try and shoo that away so I can be present in this conversation.

"That sounds nice. Do you have anywhere in mind?" We're walking out the door moments later after getting ourselves ready. We had decided to eat in the next town over. I hadn't checked my phone all day, so when I did, my heart broke even more.

Amanda kept asking why I left and chose to give her so much money. I just couldn't bring myself to answer. I didn't even say goodbye in person..

We never properly said goodbye...
_________________________________________________________________________________

Authors Note:

Again, I'm so sorry for the late update. I've been dealing with a cold this week.

Anyway! Thank you so much for reading! I know this chapter may confuse you but don't worry, it will all be answered within the next few chapters! Also! Please consider voting and commenting if you enjoyed! It would mean so much to me if you did...

Love You!!!
-B