Pure | Cate Blanchett

Chapter 19

Cate

I kept the list with me wherever I went. I always found myself adding to it as the week went on. I needed to make my decision. I knew what I wanted and what my heart pulled too, but sometimes that just isn't the answer that is correct for the situation.

I asked Andrew if we could go out to eat for dinner tonight. I knew what I was going to do. The idea of being surrounded by strangers comforted me enough. I'd rather I had witnesses to what was going to go down if anything negative were to happen.

"Is there a reason you wanted to go out tonight?" Andrew nonchalantly asks as he's looking through the menu. I set mine down and take a deep breath. I cross my arms under the table to try and comfort myself.

"I actually wanted to have a talk..." that got his attention. He gives me a look that could only be described as intrigued but with a hint of anger.

"Should I be worried?" I don't answer his question. I just take out the sheet of paper I had been adding to all week. The pros and cons are varied, but it's obvious what I want to do.

"Why do you think I wanted to be in public?" I didn't think, it just came out of my mouth. Andrew was slightly shocked at my slight harshness. I think he started to catch on to what was about to go down.

"Okay. What's on your mind?" I can tell Andrew is tense and preparing himself for whatever I am about to drop on him.

"I..." I look back down at the list. Reading Amanda's name brought back all the memories, everything I would be throwing away.

"I'm leaving you, Andrew." The confidence bursts out of my chest and my face feels stone still. He looks at me before sighing deeply and rubbing the back of his neck. Sitting up, he crosses his arms again.

"No you're not," I try to process what I just heard. The authority in his voice was what mainly surprised me, aside from his blatant unacceptance.

"What do you mean no. Andrew, I'm leaving you," I let myself get passionate. The anger and annoyance in my voice shocks even myself, yet Andrew doesn't back down.

"You're not going to leave me," I just give him a look of disbelief. He has never shown me this side of him. Is he really that cocky?

"You're not going to leave me because of many reasons," he places a finger on the table as he leans forward, as if to further his point, that is still unknown at this very moment in time.

"One: you have plenty of money to do whatever you want," if that's his only point he certainly isn't veering my mind in his direction.

"Two: I love you, and you love me. I know for a fact that neither of us wants to end our almost 30-year relationship," Amanda's brown eyes are all I can think of. The hazel tint to them when the sun hits them just right... and when I go down on her...

"Three: whatever Amanda can do, I can do better. I can prove it," hearing Andrew say her name brings a bad taste to my mouth. My face must have shown my shock and disgust, as he goes off track for a second.

"Don't think it didn't put it all together. Her smell, the paper this past week. You are just gonna run into her little arms aren't ya?" His time gets more threatening as he continues.

"What is she? Your age? Younger? Only I can provide for you. You haven't worked a day in your life, so what makes you think you'll start now?" I sink into the booth bit by bit as Andrew goes through his points.

What did I expect? Him to just let me go happily? Who does that anyway! I mean, Andrew is fighting for me in his own way. Who wouldn't want someone to provide and fight for them... Right?

"Fine," it's a mumble, yet he hears it. He shuts up and asks me to clarify, almost mockingly I might add.

"I said fine," a smirk has now appeared on his face and he reaches out for my hand. Gently holding it, he brings my hand to his lips and kisses it.

"Thank you," I bring my hand back towards me. I can't quite describe what I'm feeling, both physically and emotionally. I need to clear my head.

We get back to the house hours later. Andrew tried to prove he was better than Amanda. He was better... but let's just say not the best... he passed out after like usual.

I couldn't sleep. So I decided I had to go over and see Amanda, even if it was only for a final goodbye. I had to see her.

I leave a note for Andrew. Quietly exiting the house, I head to Amanda's. The tears don't stop rolling. I'm going to miss her like hell that's for sure.

She isn't home when I pull up. I try the door and it's locked. So I do the next best thing and wait for her on the steps. Amanda's bike doesn't pull in till a few past 2am. I can tell she is surprised to see me with her body language.

I convinced her to go to my spot. Forever after, I'll always think of Amanda when I go there. I left her compensation the next morning. I cried all the way home. I had to clean up before entering the house.

Never again will I show emotion. It's not worth it.

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Authors Note

I'm so sorry for the late update readers... I know there has been quite a few of them as of late...

Thank you so much for reading! Please don't hesitate to vote and comment anything!!

Love You!!!
-B