Pure | Cate Blanchett

Chapter 21

Cate

Andrew hasn't let me out of his sight since I tried to leave him. He called in work asking to work from home for the foreseeable future. The big, empty house suddenly feels small and claustrophobic.

Deja vu has been a common feeling. Laying in bed, the only thing I hear is Andrew snoring quietly and the slightly open blinds letting in the moonlight. I couldn't stand it.

I look over towards Andrew, he is sound asleep. I slowly get out of bed and out the bedroom door. I automatically go to the kitchen. I don't bother turning on the light. I immediately go and sit at the bar.

I place my head in my hands and sigh. This past month has been hard to get through. I'm stuck inside this house everyday with someone always watching me. The hairs on the back of my neck haven't had a good break from standing up in far too long.

I'm expecting someone to walk up behind me and sit with me, yet no one does. The relief is pleasure as I am truly able to be alone in a room. Ideally I would have the house to myself, but I will and am gladly accepting at least a room.

I decide to sit on the counter instead of the stool I am currently sitting on. I cross my legs and look over the kitchen. There is a window over the sink. The dining room is connected, and there is a sliding glass door beside the table.

For a second I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me, but quickly I realized they weren't. Someone is walking up towards the side of the house with a flashlight point only to the ground. The only visible thing are their shoes. The pair of shoes happen to be a pair I could recognize anywhere.

I walk over to the dining room light. The curtains for the sliding glass door are never really closed. If I turn on the lights for just a second, she will see it's me. Flipping the switch, the light freezes. I give it two more seconds before turning them off quickly.

The light turns off, but not before the pair of shoes starts running. I slowly and as quietly as I can open the door. I squeeze through the opening I made and run towards my Amanda.

She holds me tighter than she ever has. Her arms protect me from all the dangers of the world. I grab her jacket and quickly move us against the side of the house. Standing still and almost silent for a few seconds, I reassure myself that I haven't been caught.

I look down into the beautiful brown eyes I have fallen hopelessly in love with. The moon glimmers in her irises and the urge to kiss her is suddenly getting too strong. I haven't seen or spoken to her in a month, so of course it is.

"Amanda," I say under my breath, "may I kiss you?" She looks at me for a second before gently placing her hands on my cheeks.

"Of course you can," my excitement is definitely felt as I lean down and kiss her after way too long. Her hands are resting on the back of my neck and mine are holding her waist close to me. The butterflies in my stomach return, the feeling I've always wanted to feel is here.

"What took you so long?" I ask almost silently. Our foreheads are resting in the others and our breathing is slightly elevated.

"Honestly, I didn't have the courage to come see you till tonight. I'm sorry it took so long..." I bring Amanda into another embrace. I take a deep breath, her scent the only thing invading my senses. The familiar and safe smell makes my knees weak.

"That's in the past. You're here tonight," I kiss her head. She adjusts her grip on me and takes a deep breath as well. I am in my pajamas, old pants and a T-shirt. Versus Amanda is in day clothes still.

We start to sway slightly, as if we are dancing. The slight, graceful wind helping the process. She takes my hand and rests a hand on my waist. Looking up at me, she kisses my lips again and guides us into a slow, steady dance.

We don't need music. The wind and the moon bring us the music we need. Amanda does occasionally let her hands wander playfully and of course not without consent. The excitement I feel translates to my wide smile and loose demeanor as we dance in the moonlight.

"Run away with me Cate. We can disappear and never come back. I can tell you want to be more than friends, why don't we take the leap of faith together?" Her words are rushed and strung together not as they usually are. I understand what she is asking. My heart wants to jump at the offer, but of course I hesitate.

I don't say anything for a few seconds, letting myself process fully what Amanda has asked of me. Her heart is out and exposed. She is placing everything on the table. I know she's never done that before.

I want to. Oh how much I want to. But would that be the right decision? Running away with a woman 22 years younger? Is that really the wise decision?

My thoughts are running a million miles and hour. A train going at light speed and then some. Yet somehow, my thoughts are starting to become clear. I take a deep breath and bring Amanda closer to me. I know what I want, I know what she wants. But is that really enough?

For the first time in my life, I know how to answer without time to truly think.
_________________________________________________________________________________

Authors Note:

Thank you so much for your patience with this chapter. I'll be able to concentrate on posting more now! So I'll be posting every Thursday again.

Thank you so much for reading!! It means a lot, and also don't forget to vote and comment if you enjoyed it!

Love You!!!
-B