Who're We to Say? - a kiribaku fic

Hurting

A/n if you're wondering, yes all this is happening while he's wearing the clown face paint

Bakugou pov

I can't tell him what I've done.

I grip the sides of my arms and fall back into my bed. Breathing in the hoodie that smells too much like him. Why can't I just be able to exist without him for one day?! I'm such a wreck; a sad, tired wreck. No I'm a freak. One day without him and I'm falling back into what took me so long to get away from. It's ugly jaws snapping at me, daunting me and yet in their beautiful sick ways. Drawing me in even closer.

Shit! Stop it Katsuki! You're better than this. You're better, you're fixed now! Where are my damn meds, when did I last take them?! I smack myself with the realization that I haven't taken my medication since meeting his parents causing me to reel in pain from hitting my head too hard before scrambling to my antidepressants. I grab the bottle and go to dump one of each into my hand and when nothing came out I threw the empty bottles on the ground and call my mother.

"Ma, can you get me some shit?"
"The fuck does that mean brat?!
"I'm out of fucking meds, I've apparently been out for weeks which is why I haven't been taking them I feel like shit I... I cut again I'm fucking sorry god I don't know why I'm so damn pathe—"
"Shut the hell up okay?! I'll get your fucking pills just give me a damn minute! You aren't pathetic Katsuki, your father and I both love you endlessly, got that?"
"Yeah okay." A pause "I love you too."

Then I hung up. And fall helplessly back onto my bed. Maybe I should die. I shake that thought away so viciously my head started spinning before I realized I bled through my bandages. That. Isn't. Good. I stood up and the dizzying feeling crept in even faster and the next thing I knew I was falling to the ground and everything started fading in and out of darkness.

I....gotta.....

.......Stay.........awake....................

(Haha blood loss go brrrr)
Kirishima pov

"Hah Mina there's no way in hell, bro!"
"I'm telling you! Kami was literally just on top of my fridge at my house screaming. Like all black clothes I didn't invite him in don't know how he got there deadass!"
"My god the utter mad lad! Anyway we should probably get heading back. Katsu is probably bored."
"He's got a hankering for meat if you know what I mean!"
"You did not say that to my face!"
"Yes I did!"

She yelled before booking it back to the dorms. Causing a few people to turn a concerned eye towards us. Neither of us cared in the slightest and we reached the dorms feeling stupid and happy, laughing our asses off. Forgetting why we ran back in the first place we fall on top of each other and eventually situate ourselves onto the couch.

I toss her a controller and we end up playing like five rounds of smash bros. I won like the smash god I am leaving Mina shaking her fist towards the sky. We both laugh it off and head our separate ways. Feeling light I head on over to Katsuki's dorm to surprise him that I'm back. I open up the door and greet him happily.

"Katsuki I'm back! It was su— KATSUKI?!"

I see bloodied bandages and his motionless body so I scoop him up and carry him to recovery girl's quick as possible while still being careful with him.

"......ei...jiro....?"
"Yeah it's me Suki. What happened?"
"...not sure....."
"Okay, that's okay I'm taking you to recovery girl. It's okay Kats, just stay awake okay?"

He nods and rests his head against my chest gently closing his eyes. Continuing to sprint I eventually make it to the nurses office.

"Recovery girl I'm sorry I don't know what happened I got back to his dorm to surprise him and he was unconscious. He's sort of awake right now but I'm not sure."
"Lie the boy down."

I set Katsuki down and sit in the chair in the main lobby as she heals him. What even happened? God he was hurt so badly I mean his arms were bandaged but there was so much blood. Even through the bandages. I sigh and look at the time 17:34 I should be able to go back in at '45. After a while of sitting and waiting impatiently I was let back in to see a conscious Katsuki and Recovery Girl at her desk.

"Kats, what happened?"
"I, don't fucking know I was fine, I've been fine then I was spiraling and I cut and I'm out of meds. God damn it I was fucking okay!"
"Hey Katsuki look at me. You can tell me everything over dinner and cuddles okay? Try your best to not beat yourself up, okay?"
"No Eiji I feel the same fucking way I did at the start. I relapsed and I feel like such a sack of shit. I'm fucking sorry. And yeah cuddles sounds good."
"Okay I'll cook."
"No I will."
"You sure?"
"Eijiro just because I'm not okay in the head doesn't mean I can't cook."
"I know that I just didn't know if you were up for it I guess. Sorry."
"It's fine it's okay let's just go."

With permission of Recovery Girl we head back to the dorms to make dinner. I was going to but he wouldn't let me into the kitchen. After deciding on zosui he gets to work prepping the ingredients turning on the rice cooker, heating the dashi he made a few weeks ago, cutting up veggies. Though I don't like how he's pausing every now and then.

Bakugou pov

As I cut the vegetables there's only one thought on my mind dissipating as soon as it's there causing me to stagger in my cuts. Use it on yourself. It scares me how easily the thought comes after I've worked so hard and for it all to be ripped to shreds in one afternoon. It wasn't even a full day and here I am a new set of soon to be scars and needing a new bottle of pills. Goddamnit all. The rice finishes as I put the veggies into the pot with the beef I was going to use for hot pot but that takes longer.

Once the food is done I serve Eijiro and I leave the extra in the kitchen in case anyone else wants some.

"Okay now we can talk I guess."
"Alright first why do you have clown makeup on?"
"I was bored and wanted to do weird shit. Next."
"This is more serious than the last one. Kat what happened."
"Well I cut. But I don't know I kinda just spaced out I didn't even realize it until I was looking at my arms gushing with blood. So I bandaged them up and moved on. Then my thoughts were spiraling and I realized I hadn't taken my meds so I went to do that but I was out. I called my mom and she got me more I have to pick them up tomorrow. After that I guess I just lost consciousness. Probably from fucking blood loss. I feel like shit Eijiro."
"Oh."
"Yeah and I kinda just wanna forget it all so can you kiss me."
"Sure Katsuki."

I hope he's not disappointed in me.

A/n ahhhh idk how to make these boys happy I swear I love these characters. Or at least Kirishima. I kin Bakugou so I like to fuck him up a little. Have a good day/night