Drafts of the Soul

Gem

We treat people we love as gems.

Gems are really precious.

Gems are beautiful.

Gems are very expensive.

There was a gem that I loved ---

I valued the most.

It was very beautiful.

It was more than a ruby.

It was more than a diamond.

I took care of it.

I treated it like my own child.

It was the most favorite thing I kept in my pocket.

I was kind of afraid that I might lost it.

Yeah, kind of...

because one day,

I wasn't able to get a good grip of it.

I accidentally put it in the garbage.

I took it outside without knowing.

Fortunately,

I was able to take it back.

I was happy.

I really am.

I promised myself

to take care of it carefully and lovingly.

I was happy again with the gem that I loved.

I kept it shiny every single day.

I kissed it every morning,

every noon,

every afternoon,

every night,

or every second.

I never thought

that the gem was slowly losing its shine.

The light within it

started to fade away.

What did I do?

I did everything for it.

I did everything so that

it will stay beautiful.

Was that everything not enough?

Maybe because I was at fault.

It was my fault.

I should have kept an eye on it.

I should have loved it so hard.

And I asked myself,

"Does that gem really meant for me?"

"Does the gem already gave up?"

"Does the gem wants someone other than me so that the shine of it will return?"

These thoughts kept running in my mind

and this drove me crazy.

I was deeply hurt.

Confused.

Upset.

And the only thing I could do

is to blame myself.

I couldn't bring back

the loveliness of that gem where it used to be.

My 'I should have's

remain as thoughts and wishes

and it will never come true.

I think it's time to let go of that gem.

It's time to let someone take care of it,

value it,

and see its worth

more than I did.