Somewhere Only We Know

Bending the Rules

Chapter Eleven

As much as I want to help Winston out, he's not making it easy for me.

Benny continued to treat him like shit all week and then on Friday, he cancelled on Winston at the last minute. It hurt me to watch it happen.

"You're embarrassing yourself, you know that right?" I say to him now as I watch him style his hair in the bathroom mirror. It's Saturday and he's going out to see Benny again. They don't have plans but Winston wants to surprise him.

There's a bouquet of flowers laying on Winston's bed and he just spent at least an hour getting ready in the bathroom. That was after he spent two hours trying to pick an outfit. Benny doesn't deserve him.

Winston and I, we're acting civil around each other. There's something between us that's stopping us from going back to the way we used to be but at least we're not fighting.

He chooses to ignore my comment. "Blue or red?" He holds up two ties, one dark red and the other light blue.

I look at his outfit, the black jeans, the white shirt and the jacket on top.

"No tie," I tell him and he frowns.

"No tie?" he repeats and he glances from one tie to another. "I have more, if they're ugly I-"

"No tie," I say simply. "Unless you're planning on proposing to him?"

It's meant to be a joke, but his face falls and he looks down at the ground obviously embarrassed. He throws the ties to the side and puts his head in his hands.

"What is it?" I ask him.

He sighs. "Do you think I'm moving too fast for him?" he asks and he bites his bottom lip. "I mean... I wanted him to meet my parents but he..."

I don't want to say I told you so... But does he really not see that Benny doesn't love him?

"How long have you know each other?" I ask because I might as well try to help. I might as well try to be his friend if I can't be anything more.

Winston thinks for a moment. "About... four months?"

Four months? I've only known Winston for about thirteen weeks. That guy's known Winston for four months and all he's done so far is treat him like shit.

"Why do you stay with him?" I ask and I know it's not my place to ask but I need to know. "Why do you... He keeps treating you like shit and you go back to him every time. Why?"

Winston doesn't look like he's gonna answer but then his shoulders slump and he walks out of the bathroom and sits down on his bed.

"Benny... He's all I have," Winston says quietly. "I... I just want him to love me like I love him. He-he's not the best boyfriend but..."

I listen and press my lips together. "But?" I just need him to see how bad Benny is for him.

Winston shrugs. "But he's still there for me. He wants me. Even though he might not act like it all the time... He still wants me. And he's all I have."

This is fucking sad. How can he... Does he really think he deserves this? He's one of the nicest people I've ever met and he's acting like he deserves to be with that asshole.

"You have me," I tell him and he laughs.

"No, I don't," he says sadly. "I did. Once. And then I... I lost you for some reason. But I don't have you anymore, I have Benny. And that has to be enough."

I hate the way he's talking. Like he's all alone and no one is there for him. Maybe I should have... I should have let it go. I should have been there for him.