We're Way Too Different

Episode 39

Mi-Na...

''Kang, can I talk to you?'' I walk into the room with my night gown on, fresh from the shower. My hair is tied up, and I'm cooking up the courage and currently figuring out how I'm going to get the words out of my mouth. 

''What is it?'' He turns off the TV, and gives me his undivided attention. 

''Um...'' I start off hesitantly, as I walk up to the bed. I sit down on the edge gently, and fidget with my fingers. ''There's something I want to tell you. And the timeline is going to sound off. You're gonna wonder why I didn't tell you any sooner. But it's because I was coping with the emotional stress myself, and had to gather myself, before I could speak on it.'' I look at him. 

''Okay, um... Now I'm really worried.'' He sits up. ''Babe, you can tell me anything, I'm all ears.'' He reassures. 

''Okay, well last year I got pregnant and I lost it.'' I sigh. 

''What? How come I didn't know this?'' He asks grabbing my hand gently. 

''I wanted to be sure that it wasn't a false positive. I waited a month, went to the obgyn, and she told me that I was pregnant. The day I wanted to tell you, I got up and something didn't feel right in me. I was unusually sick, and I went to her again. She did some tests and I had a miscarriage.'' I suck in a big breaht and try to hold back my tears. 

''Then I went to a fertility doctor. Her name is Ava. She gave me some prenatals, and medications to take to see if they would help until I could attempt to try again. That was a year ago. She aslo gave me a box of pregancy tests, to take throughout the year as I'm on the medications. I took the last test this morning. It came out negative.'' I continue. 

''I went to her, hence why I walk out this morning with no explanation. I showed her the tests, and she said that the fact that only two tests came out positive out of all 15, was a problem. She got results back from previous tests she did on me a couple of months ago, and they came back that...'' I breath out... ''My uterus is too small to carry a baby, and my eggs are bad. They don't make it past a month in my stomach.'' I explain. 

''Why didn't you ask me to come with you, we could've gone through this together.'' He wraps his arms around me. 

''I was still processing things on my own. I needed my own time to comprehend what had happened to me.'' I finish, and simply lay there, listening to his heart beat, going from fast to slow. 

''Does your family knows about this?'' 

''I called Yoongi earlier crying to him on the phone, and he told me to come over so I could talk to him. At first he thought, it's because of you I was crying.'' I chuckle. 

''Oh, he's back from Italy?'' He asks. He didn't know that Yoongi had came back. 

''Yea. And guess what?'' I look at him. 

''What?'' 

''He proposed to Jimin!'' I say in excitement.

''Really? That's nice. But you seem more excited then they are.'' He laughs. 

''I mean yea, I'm glad he's marrying Jimin. They've been through it, this past year. they deserve everything their love has to offer. Plus I've always wanted another brother.'' I shrug. 

''Huh... I thought most girl wanted another sister.'' He looks at me. 

''Well, Haru would have made a nice sister-in-law, but I don't know... I just didn't like as much as I like Jimin for Yoongi.'' I tell him. 

''How come? What is it about Jimin, that makes you like him more?'' 

''It's the way he changed Yoongi. Like my little brother had it rough growing up. After dad walked out on us, and mom gave up on him... He shut down. I caught him slicing his arms once, and he was so scared that he begged for me not to tell mom. Therapy was killing him. I said fine, cleaned him up and told him to not do it again.'' 

''Damn... I never knew these things about Yoongi.'' He sighs. 

''Well that's because you and him never talk. But, I been knew that he was into guys. His freshman year of high school, I caught him making out with a guy on the roof top of the school. He saw me, along with the guy, but I just smiled at him and hyped him up. I've always prefered a guy for him, mainly because it's helped him open up more.'' I continue. 

''With Haru, it was difficult for him, because she couldn't understand what he was going through. She kept pushing and pushing for himn to just open up. But with Jimin, it wasn't like that. It happened willingly. He was scared to lose him, and sacrificed protecting his feelings just to love him.'' 

''okay, you have been paying too much attention to their relationship!'' He playfully attacks me. ''But seriously, what about you, and us, and kids. Have you taled to Ava about other options?'' He touches my stomach. 

''Um... She brought it up, but I zoned out. Yes, I know about adoption and surrogates, but I still want to try once more...'' I trail on, and look around the room pretending to not know what I just said. 

''Don't say things you don't mean.'' He looks up and smirks at me. He leans up and steals a kiss.'

I pull away and look down at him. ''Who said I don't mean it?'' I ask. 

****

Sang Ji... 

"Have you heard from Yoongi?'' Bok Gi asks me. Hearing that name in my ears send shivers down my spine. And not the good kind of shivers. 

''Why would I?'' I respond. 

''You left him and Jimin in Italy. Along with Mi-Na and Kang.'' 

''And... They're adults. I'm sure they made it back.'' I say, climbing into bed. 

''I don't like this side of you.'' He looks at me. 

''What? Why does everyone want me to just swallow this ginormous pill Yoongi just handed to me, without any preperation?'' I snap. 

''No one is asking you to anything you don't want to do Sang Ji. We're all just asking you to put yourself in his shoes. He's delt with depression and all these issues growing up. All he's asking you is to accept him for who he is. You don't have to agree or even like Jimin or what they represent to each other. But completely ignoring your son, and bashing his boyfriend and front of him, is uncalled for Sang Ji.'' He looks at me and explain, with sincerity. 

''Okay, don't call Jimin that. I'm not ready to hear that.'' 

''And that's the issue. You're making this about how you feel, and what you like, and don't like and how it makes you look as his mother. This isn't about you! It's about him. It's about how he feels.'' He says calmly the last couple of words, and turns over to sleep. 

I sigh, frustratingly, and close my eyes, hoping things can just go back to normal.