We're Way Too Different

Episode 37

Min-Lee Mi-Na...

I stare at the pregnancy on the edge of the bathroom sink, while leaning against the closed bathroom door, and biting my nails like crazy. I glance at all of the previously used tests in the box, and the last one left still in its package. 

"Aish!'' I curse under my breath, as I stare at the time seeing that it's becoming slower every time I look at it. 

The clock counts down, and soon the phone rings, indicating that the time is up. I rush and grab the test, and watch it intensely, as the results slowly fade into sight. Negative... 

I sigh loudly out of anger, drop all the test back in the box and close it up. I walk out of the bathroom holding the box in my hand. I walk past my husband on the bed watching his movie, grab my keys, and decide to take a trip to my doctor. 

''Babe, where are you going?'' He yells after me. 

I throw the closed box in the passenger seat, slide on my seat belt, and start the 10-minute drive to my doctor's office. 

Once there, I park the car and exit out. I stuff the box in my bag and walk inside the comfy lobby of the small clinic. 

''Mi-Na! Hi, I see you're back again.'' The secretary who I'm closely familiar with now greets me with a smile on her face. 

''Yes, I am. I cam to see Doctor Ava.'' I smile at her.

''I hear my name.'' Ava comes walking out of the room where her office is located. The door was open, so she must have heard me. 

''Ah! Ava, you're favorite patient is back.'' The secretary points to me. 

''Mi-Na hi! What brings you back here! Step into my office.'' She mentions. 

I follow her inside, and I take a seat, as she closes the door behind us, and walk into her seat. 

The smile that was on my face when I walked in, fades. I pull out the box and place it in front of her.

''You've been taking the medications that will help with your cycle to bring up the chances of you conceiving...'' She smiles looking at the box. 

''Yeah and um... it's not working.'' I tell her. 

''What do you mean?'' 

I pull out all the 15 tests in the box and lay them out on the table with their caps on. She looks at each of them carefully and backs up at me. ''Wait, out of 15 tests only two came out positive?'' 

''Yes...'' I sigh. 

''For how long?'' 

''Since the last time, I saw you which was last year,'' I tell her. Shaking her head in disbelief, she presses the caller button on her office phone. 

''Liane, can you bring me the tests I had ordered from the laboratory?'' A worried look on her face. Five minutes later Liane comes in with a yellow envelope, and hands it to her. 

''Thank you.'' She grabs it. She waits until she walks out, and then opens the envelope, pulling put ten seperate sheetsof paper, colored with black letters on them, charts, and numbers. 

At the top of each is written a bold title. ''EGG QUALITY'' one reads. ''UTERUS SHAPE'' another reads, and the papers keep coming. 

She lays them out on the table, and starts reading through each one of them. She sighs dissapointedly, the look of worry becoming more and more heavy on her face. 

''Ok... From what I'm reading here, it's indicated that there are multiple reasons why your eggs aren't fertilizing, or seeding into your uterus.'' She looks at me. ''But before I continue, are you sure you don't want Kang Lee here? I'm sure he would want to know this, and you wouldn't have to share so much emotional baggage.'' She rests her hand gently on my hand. 

''No, I want tot be the one to tell him, after I've come to terms with what I'm about to hear.'' I explain holding the already prepared tears back. 

''Alright. Well, you don't have the best egg quality. Meaning, they die before they even get a chance to fertalize, and secondly your uterus is immensely to small, to support the growth of a baby. So even if you did manage to get one good egg, you would have a miscarriage within the first two months.'' She caresses my hand as she explains this. 

''The odds of you conceiving in this case and with these varialbles, are non-negotiable.'' 

I soak in these words like sponge to water. I keep replaying back in my head, how am I going to tell everyone this. Not to mention, how am I going to to deal with this by myself. I'm sure Kang is going to notice me crying myself to dehydration every night and day. 

''Mi-Na, there are many other options that we both could look into. They are safe, and well respected. I want you to go home, and rest your mind, speak to someone if you have too, and really think about your next choices or course that you want to take. Okay?" She packs the papers up, and hands them to me. 

I sniffle the tears away, wipe my eyes before leaving. I grab the envelop from her and walk out, smiling to Liane as I head out of the door. I get in my car, and completely breakdown. If I was glass the amount of dust my pieces would have turned into would be immaculate. 

I lay my head on the wheel, contemplating. The only person I can talk to is my brother. My mom would just freak out, or be dissapointed like she's been with Yoongi since he was younger. I don't want to deal with her right now. 

I pick up my phone, and dial Yoongi's number. 

''Hello... Mi-Na?'' He answers. 

''Yoongi, are you busy right now?" I ask. My nose is stuffed, which clearly indicates that I'm crying. 

''No, why? Wait, are you crying? What happened?'' He asks. 

''I just really need to talk, or I'm going to loose my absolute shit.'' I say to him. 

''Alright, just come over. It's fine.'' He quickly responds. I hang up, start the car and begin driving to his house.