I Love You, Always

Chapter 4

I wake up with the worst pain in my stomach. I feel sick, like I could throw up any second. For a few minutes I just lie in my bed, curled into myself, hoping the nausea will go away soon. I have no idea what time it is. I can only gather that it's either sometime in the middle of the night or early morning judging by Devyn's snoring. The churning in my stomach suddenly worsens. I swallow my saliva, but it doesn't make a difference. My mouth keeps watering profusely and I just know I'm gonna get sick. I can feel it coming on slowly.

It takes everything in me to pull my blanket back and plant my feet on the floor. Moving only makes the pain worse. For a moment, I can't move it's so intense. I grind my teeth together hard, digging my fingers into my sheets. Breathing deeply, I take a few minutes to let my stomach calm down enough so I can push myself up and make my way to the bathroom. I briefly contemplate using my cane to get there faster, but it makes too much noise and I don't want to wake Dev. Instead, I take a couple cautious steps forward and feel around until my fingers connect with the cool surface of my desk.

The door is only a couple feet away from my desk. With one arm wrapped around my abdomen I use my free hand, trailing my fingertips over the desk and my chair. My fingers suddenly hit nothing but air for a couple of steps and then reconnect with the door. Thankfully, the bathroom is directly across the hall from our door, about four steps away.

It's strange how the presence of a bathroom will make you suddenly feel like throwing up when you're nauseated. I don't know what it is that triggers that, but I'm definitely feeling it, especially once my fingers make contact with the cold ceramic of the toilet bowl.

The worst part is feeling so sick and wanting to throw up already but still not being able to. That's where I'm at right now. I kneel down, curling my fingers under the seat and spit into the bowl, trying to get as much of the saliva out of my mouth as I can. It doesn't work.

Suddenly, my mouth starts watering twice as much and I know then that I'm close to throwing up. In a way, it's almost relieving even though my stomach hurts like hell. I think I can hear footsteps, but shortly after I notice the sound, I find myself lurching over the toilet bowl, emptying everything in my stomach. I hear a little click, like someone flipped the light switch. It's followed by the feeling of cool fingers pressing against my sweaty forehead, pulling my bangs back behind my ears. It feels nice.

After getting everything out of my system, my stomach feels sore but doesn't hurt nearly as much as it did before. I reach my hand out, fumbling around for the toilet paper. A couple times I spit into the bowl before wiping my mouth clean and flushing everything. The smell doesn't exactly help me feel less nauseous.

"I had a feelin' this would happen."

Derrick's voice comes from right next to me. I can feel him leaning over me slightly. His statement is superseded by a yawn, as if his exhausted tone isn't enough indication of how tired he is. I feel a little bad. Derrick is a pretty light sleeper. I could've easily woken him from throwing up, especially if he left his door open like he does sometimes.

"First me, then Dev, now you. Figured that's how it would work out."

Resting my forehead back against the lip of the bowl, I reply, "I hate both of you." My voice comes out sounding slightly hoarse and my throat feels scratchy.

"Come on now. It sucks, but it's hard to prevent."

One of Derrick's hands moves to my back. He starts gently rubbing my upper back, trailing his fingers around in a circle. It's very calming and helps me relax more. The longer he continues doing it the harder it is to stay awake.