I Love You, Always

Chapter 7

Monday means going back to school and I can't figure out if I'm nervous about it or excited. I feel like the only reason I'm excited is the possibility of being able to talk to Simon again, but I'm also nervous because Dev is going to be there and I'm uncertain as to what his mood will be like. After Derrick cut my hair last night, he made some hot chocolate and we all watched a movie before going to bed. Well, Dev and Derrick went to bed. I stayed up until almost three am, unable to sleep. I'm now going on about three and a half hours of sleep. It doesn't feel great at all.

Dev doesn't talk to me or Derrick much that morning, which worries me some. It seems like he's doing the opposite of what Derrick told him he should do and retreating into himself. Hopefully seeing my psychiatrist will help to change that. He still helps me to our classes, even if he doesn't talk much, but before lunch I tell him I want to go to the library instead to see if Simon is there. He doesn't put up a fuss about it and lets me go.

Since it's been a little while, I can't quite remember exactly where Simon's table is in the library, so I find an empty one near the spot that I remember first meeting him at, and hope that I'm at the right table. Or if I'm not, that he'll still talk to me if he shows up.

While I wait, I reply to Lexy's last text. I told her last night when I couldn't sleep about what happened with Devyn and she's been worried too. She texts to ask how he is this morning and I tell her I'm not really sure since he won't talk much. Right after I send the text, something lands on the table across from me and I hear someone drop into the seat. Simon's voice breaks the silence.

"Back from the dead?" he asks and I can't help but chuckle.

"You can say that. Wasn't dead though, just really sick. Dev's fault."

"Your brother?" he asks for clarification and I nod. "Listen, I haven't gotten to talk to you since what happened in the cafeteria last week. I didn't mean for that shit to happen."

I just shrug. I'm over it. I wasn't too bothered by it to begin with since I knew it wasn't Simon's fault. "It's okay," I say.

"So," Simon begins. There's a sound of him typing on his keyboard for a few seconds before he continues, "last time we met, I never did ask you you're name."

"Damian," I reply. I start to feel a little weird that I already know Simon's first and last name, as well as some of his history with Kyle, when he wasn't the one to tell me that information.

Simon hums in response. "I'm Simon. We have History together, I noticed," he says, "and English."

Somehow I think I should have known that information, but I suppose that goes to show just how much I pay attention when attendance is being recorded in class. "Oh," I reply. I don't really know what else to say other than that. I begin to feel like this is about to turn a little awkward, since Simon and I barely know each other, so we don't have much of anything to converse about.

"And that guy, Kyle, the one I was arguing with last week?" Simon says.

"Yeah?"

"Avoid him at all costs," he replies. "If you can. He's a dick."

"I've gathered that much," I mumble. I fiddle with my cane as I sit, running my fingers along the plastic. "The first words out of his mouth to me proved that enough."

Simon doesn't say anything for a moment, even the sound of him typing ceases temporarily. "Yeah, he's...pretty bigoted, I guess."

Simon saying that starts to make me think about the connotation of that sentence. Does Simon think that what Kyle said about me was true? He wouldn't necessarily be wrong, I suppose, but I don't exactly like people making assumptions about me based upon trivial things, such as the clothing I choose to wear.