I Love You, Always

Chapter 8

The Xanax actually works. Derrick is right, though. It does make me feel groggy in the morning, but it helps me sleep and I don't have any nightmares. Maybe this is what I need. Sure, I'll feel groggy in the morning, but I would take that over the countless hours of sleep I've lost.

So, Derrick keeps giving it to me. Only until I get to see my psychiatrist next Wednesday. Thursday comes and goes and Devyn sees my psychiatrist who gives him a diagnosis that none of us had really prepared for—Bipolar Disorder. It makes sense once I look up all the symptoms. Dr. Victoria prescribes Dev a mood stabilizer to take. It's supposed to help, but it may take some time before it really makes a difference for Devyn. His mood doesn't change much throughout the week. He's not angry or irritable like he was before, he's just quiet and seems kind of sad. It bothers Derrick a lot.

When we get home from school Friday, Derrick sets something on the kitchen table and sits there instead of going to the couch, which is unusual.

"What are you doing?" I ask him from the couch. Devyn is in our room, presumably taking a nap. I hear the distinct sound of pages turning.

"Looking into stuff about Bipolar Disorder," Derrick replies. "I know some stuff about it, but not a lot, so I picked up a book from the library during my lunch earlier. I just want to know more about it and see if there's anything I can do for Dev."

"Do you want me to order the pizza for later?" I ask. With Lexy coming over tonight, Derrick decided he would rather order us pizza than cook anything.

"Yeah, but give it an hour or so. It's gonna take Val almost three hours to get here. She said they'd be here around five."

"Okay." My phone buzzes and I tap the screen to listen to the message. It's from Lexy.

Message from Lexy at 3:32 pm: Half-way there-exclamation point. See you soon-exclamation point. Smiley.

I smile at the message and my stomach churns a little, but in a good way. I am nervous to see Lexy since I haven't seen her in almost a month, but I'm also very excited.

Can't wait, I text back.

I put my headphones in while I wait, listening to one of my favorite podcasts about new-developing technologies. I'm completely invested in the software-engineering world and I find it so interesting to hear about new technologies and developments. Devyn says it's nerdy, but I don't care.

Derrick doesn't bother me at all and I become so engrossed in the podcast that I forget to call in the pizza, but that's okay because Derrick remembers and does it instead. My concentration is broken by a knock on the front door. It's either Lexy or the pizza and I'm really hoping it's the former.

I practically jump out of the seat. "I'll get it!" I exclaim so Derrick knows. He's in the bathroom.

"Dami!" Lexy's voice greets my ears when I open the door. I barely have any time to react before I have an armful of her as she practically throws herself at me. She smells the same, like vanilla and whatever scent her shampoo is. I hug her tightly and bury my face in her neck, not wanting to let go of her. "I missed you soooo much!" she exclaims.

I don't even register Derrick's footsteps or presence until I hear his voice behind me. "Oh, you dyed your hair, Lex. It looks good."

"Thanks!"

My hands instinctively move up to touch Lexy's hair and I can feel silky large curls. "What color?" I ask.

"Pink. My favorite color, of course."

"You guys got here earlier than I thought you would," Derrick says and Val chuckles.

"Traffic wasn't too bad, surprisingly. Also, this one wouldn't stop hounding me to go faster 'cause she couldn't bear to wait any longer to get here."