somewhere only we know ══════emily prentiss

12. little rays

                                      12. 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐫𝐚𝐲𝐬
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  ever since the discussion in olivia's apartment things had been seriously off between the two girls. it had been three days and not a single word from emily. not a text, or a call, nothing. olivia hadn't even seen her in the elevator. she knew things would be different now but not like this. it felt eerie being in those lift rides alone, it was cold without emily's warm smile and contagious laugh. she missed hearing it every morning and a part of her almost regretted having the conversation at all, maybe if they hadn't this wouldn't be the case, but nonetheless they had and now olivia was facing the consequences. she didn't want to believe emily was ghosting her solely because she had caught feelings but she couldn't think of anything else to blame it on. she honestly didn't want to believe she was being ghosted at all because as much as emily loved to divert things when she got uncomfortable, this wasn't like her.

  eventually emily was going to have to face her and considering that there had been radio silence for the past 74 hours, olivia figured she would be the one instigating it. that wasn't the problem though, the issue was that tomorrow they were supposed to be having a movie marathon and at the rate they were going, she wasn't sure if she was meant to knock on the door or not. she hadn't felt this way since the first time they interacted, this nervousness that made her stomach turn and thoughts jumble together until they were unrecognizable— all she wanted was to know emily wasn't mad at her. she could handle unrequited love, god knows she'd had her fair share of it, she could even handle emily not wanting to be friends anymore, but being upset with her? no.

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  the following day olivia spent the majority of the morning going back and forth on weather or not to text emily about their plans or not. she had talked to lucy and she said she hadn't seen or heard anything from emily either and that only made things worse. now not only was she afraid that emily was avoiding her, but now she her mind was running through scenarios of emily picking everything up and leaving just to get away from her. she knew it wasn't the case and it was just her anxiety talking but that didn't stop the thoughts from jumping around in her mind for the rest of the day.

  before she knew it the time to see emily snuck up on her, time moving so fast yet insanely slow all at once. she figured it would be best to just go straight to her apartment instead of texting her, maybe than emily couldn't dodge her, so that's exactly what she did. she found her snacks and made her way to emily's apartment. she waited at the door after knocking for what felt like hours. "emily? are you there?". nothing. absolute silence and honestly, it was starting to scare her, so she called emily again but she couldn't hear her phone ringing through the door. maybe she wasn't home, or maybe her phone was on silence and she really was ignoring her. had she really messed up that badly? the longer she stood there waiting for an answer that wasn't going to come the more she felt like breaking down, turning around and going back home before she made a fool of herself in the middle of the hall.

  she didnt want to lose emily. she was what made her mornings tolerable. even when she didn't see emily, the thought of her bringing coffee or confirming their lunch date made olivia happy. emily made her so happy it was almost pathetic, she needed that happiness. she was mindful of olivia's feelings  and for once, olivia didn't feel ashamed about her little rituals or the thoughts that made her do them in the first place. emily didn't get mad at her when she canceled their plans because she couldn't bring herself out bed that day. she didn't want to go back to the way things were before her when her intrusive thoughts were the only thing running through her mind and in a selfish way, she hoped emily didn't want to either. she liked to think she helped emily open up, she let her feel okay not being okay all the time.

  it wasn't that often that they had serious conversations but ever time the topic came up, there was a unspoken understanding that they helped eachother, healed each other. they would be there for one another without asking and without overstepping, and that in and of itself was enough to comfort olivia.

  for now all olivia could do was trying not to cry and pray she hadn't broken that for them.

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AN:/

hello loves!

i'm back! thank u so much for 5k reads!!

i'm gonna start writing new chapters soon (these were all pre written) so hopefully that means more consistency!!

sorry for the short chapter, some things are better with less words :)

sleep well and drink water! <3