Sergeant Abigail (Abby) Laurens transfers to the BAU after an operation in Iraq goes horribly wrong and she loses the one man she's ever truly loved. Desperate to escape her guilt she throws herself into her new position but when someone comes back...
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Finally, something Abby was certain of.
"Oh that's easy. No, Sir." She answered without missing a beat.
"Supervisory Special Agent Hotchner is the unit chief of the Behavioural Analysis Unit, a team that you are going to be joining, Sergeant. Or should I say SSA Abigail Laurens." Moore's smile had turned into one of pride, he knew how smart Abby was. He had seen her grow into not just the soldier she is but the strong woman too. He truly meant that without her the regiment would not have been able to find the number of insurgents that they had.
"Sir, I-I don't know what to say. I'm not trained I -" Abby stuttered.
"Actually, Abby that is where you're wrong," The two Sergeant Major's looked at each other and smiled, "That's not something we say regularly. Do you remember that course I ordered you on for the first month of your...break from active service?"
This was the most compassionate anyone had ever seen Moore; he was trying desperately to get Abby to agree to this transfer. The only condition that Hotch had given Moore was that Abby was to decide this was something she wanted, Moore was not allowed to order her to accept this. If she still wished to go home then Moore would have to understand that. Because of this he was treading lightly and consciously thinking about his choice of words as he knew how fragile Abby was after the incident two months ago. However, Agent Hotchner never said that Moore couldn't put Abby onto an FBI issued profiling course, that was never against the rules.
"Yes Sir, the profiling course?" She didn't say it aloud, but she loved it; every second.
"That's what the BAU do, Laurens. They do what you've been doing for the past year, they profile unsubs - or unknown subjects - and then catch the son of a bitch. They look at their behaviour, patterns and well it's things I could never imagine doing but you can Abby. You would absolutely thrive in that role."
"Would I be in the field?" Abby asked nervously, she already knew the answer but she just had to hear it from someone else.
"Laurens, what happened to Leo was not your fault. Do not let it hold you back. And that's an order." Sergeant Major Tom Lawrence spoke up for the first time in the conversation. Moore gave him a side look, silently telling him to watch his mouth. However, it seemed as though for a minute, Lawrence forgot who he was talking to because Abby replied just as passive aggressively as her Sergeant.
"With respect, Sir," she said with a notable hint of anger, "I said nearly the same thing to Leo. I gave him an order and it got him killed," As she turned to Moore, her face instantly relaxing, "Sir, I really appreciate the gesture and whilst it would be an incredible opportunity to work in the FBI, I can't. I did not realise until Leo's death that it doesn't matter how hard you try, how many procedures you follow or how many orders you give, you cannot save everyone. And I don't want another situation where I am the reason people are killed. It would be hard enough being responsible for the safety of not just my team but the safety of strangers who are in the most awful of times in their lives, but add on the fact that I am under qualified...I would feel like I was drowning." Abby allowed herself to rant to her commanding officers, since Leo was killed two months ago she had not given herself the time to grieve and that was now very evident to the two men.
Moore stood up and moved to sit back at his desk, speaking as he did so.
"Abby, I am going to speak to you as a friend and possibly a mentor, not your CO and, just know, that I do it out of respect. You've been a soldier long enough to know that there was never the possibility to be able to save everyone but knowing that you'd be able to save someone is what drew you to the Army and to the academy and why you didn't just train as a soldier but as a doctor. You want to save people but I think, now more than ever, you want to be saved. You have suffered a loss that is unimaginable to many but this team, like this regiment, understand your pain and given the chance they will save you Abigail," he used her full name, Abby knew he meant every word, "Do you know how I know you're going to accept this position?"
Abby didn't even know herself whether she was going to take this transfer.
"I don't know, sir. You profiled me?" she joked.
Moore chuckled back. "No, sergeant. I know you're going to accept this offer because you said my team, not a team."
Abby looked at him with a glint in her eye.
"Do yourself a favour, Sergeant. Pack your bags. You're going home."
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don't forget to vote and comment, it really does mean a lot. i hope you're enjoying 'silence'.
