We belong together [Rewriting]

10 [Rewritten]

~Evernly

All the feelings I've been keeping suppressed came out gushing out in loud, heart wrenching sobs. Crying wasn't going to solve all my problems but it would solve some, so for now, I cried into Wren's back, refusing to let her turn around. I wanted to stand there, not being seen by her and cried into her.

"Eve, what's wrong?" Wren asked softly, her voice full on anxiety, her back stiff as a rock. Clenching harder at the back of Wren's business blazer, I was never the type of child to run home to mum and cry, that option was never available for me and I thought I would never be that kind of child but here I was clinging to Wren's blazer, completely and unequivocally weak and completely terrified.

Wren tried to turn around, but I didn't want her to, I turned with her back, evading her. "Evernly, what happened?" Wren asked again, her voice quivering, close to tears I'm sure, but nothing and everything was wrong. There was no right answer. I just wanted to stay like that, crying and releasing some anxiety, even if not all is going to be solved by a good cry.

"Mum." The word came out as a whimper, falling out of my lips with ease, a cry for  help. "Mum." I said, repeating it over and over again, my hands trembling. "Mum." I said again, the only word that I could manage choke out between sobs. I didn't know what else to say and I couldn't physically say anything else, beside that one word, "mum."

The last woman I called mum turned out not being my mother or a mother at that, both literally and figuratively speaking, not only was she not my mother but she was also an abusive son of a bitch. Because of her I have scares, physically and emotionally, scares that will never heal and because of her, I hate the word mum with a passion, it haunted me and yet here I was, calling out this woman by that name, crying it out, screaming it out.

Help me! Help me! That's what I meant, that is what I wanted to say but the words never made up my throat, they got lodged there, choking me up so that the only words I could say was just that, mum! After a while Wren seemed to understand that I'd rather cry behind her so she stool still, letting me cry my eyes out, she said nothing, she did not move, I don't think she even breathed. Wren just let me cry until I tired myself out

Eventually the sobs slowed down, the tears ran out and I burnt myself out, but I still held on to Wren and she let me. We might've stood there for half an hour straight, just breathing. At first, it was out of comfort, feeling Wren's body heat comforted me to an extent and her letting me stay there was reassuring then I became self-conscious about the whole ordeal. I was mortified that I didn't want to move but I knew that at some point, I'd have to.

I took a small step back, sniffling back snort then I dropped my hands to my sides,  noticing the damp spot on Wren's yellow blazer caused by my tears. "Umm... I'm going to my room." I said quickly and rushed past her looking at the floor.

"Evernly wait," Wren called out behind me but I ignored her calls and climbed the stairs yearning for the protection my room, my blankets, offered. Opening my bedroom door, I winced at the mess that was my room, clothes were discarded everywhere. Honestly, the mess made me recoiled in disgust, pushing me further into depression but I did not have the energy to pick anything up nor did I want to. I threw my purse right by the door, adding to the mess as I took off each piece of clothing throwing it on the floor, creating a trail from the middle my enormous room to my bed.

I opened my blankets getting into bed and pulled it over my head, shielding myself away from the mess in my room, from Wren, from Harry and the rest of the world. My eyes burnt from the over crying, I closed them and sleep overcoming me as fast as I closed my eyes, the banging in my head getting further and further away until I couldn't hear it anymore. I wanted to sleep and not because I was tired or sleepy, I just didn't want to be awake.