We belong together [Rewriting]

06[Rewritten]

~Harry

My eyes darted between my computer and the neatly hanging suites on the make-shift rack at the far end of my office. The week ticked by slowly, dragging on and on, but today in particular seemed to move at a much slower pace, the last few hours being the worst of them all but maybe I was too restless, impatient.

A fresh new wave of anxiety seeped in, my eyes on the clock displayed on the bottom right corner of my computer screen. 17:28 pm, it read. Less than two hours to go. "I could stop here today." I said to myself coolly, already getting up from my chair. It wasn't like I did anything productive today anyway so what does it matter when I stop, I wasn't useful and I won't be useful, besides a few calls here and there, I did nothing today.

Grabbing the suites from the rack, I looked through the identical piece of clothing with a deep frown on my forehead, anxiety gnawing at me, eating away at my conviction, wondering if maybe she hadn't changed her mind, maybe she had time to think during the week and changed her mind, regretting accepting my invitation to dinner. My stomach grumped with anxiety, making me feel sick, my body and mind reverting back to a sixteen year old again with a whole bundle of nerves.

Sighing, I hung back the articles of clothing with a defeated look plastered on my face, a different suit will not make her change her mind if she decides she doesn't want to go anymore, as much as it would pain me, there would be nothing I could do. Changing into a different suit nevertheless because logic and anxiety never went hand in hand, knowing that a different suit will not change anything and actually understanding it seemed to be two different concepts, not to mention they all looked identical, black in colour and plain. They were the same sizes as well, the only difference being the fabric and the designer of said suit written on the inside of each suit.

Pathetic right?

Indeed I was pathetic, a bundle of nerves, unnerved by a girl, The woman of my dreams, the woman that dominates my entire essence, the woman that defines my whole existence, the woman that owns my soul and spirit, a woman that shapes my reality, that woman. Yes, I'm pathetic, unequivocally, unashamedly and utterly pathetic.

Existing my office building, I adjusted the mirror waiting on the vehicles passing, for a chance to glide in the road and join the other vehicles going the same direction as I was, going about their day. After all the fretting over my attire, I ended up wearing the same attire I had the whole day, I chose the outfit I felt most confident in. I chuckled lightly at myself, I was fretting over something to wear. I never got the angst over what one was wearing seeing that I always threw the first thing my eyes landed on. Now I understand and I respect women more too for it, it really is a struggle finding the right outfit to wear.

Stopped by a red light at an intersection, my eyes wandered off to the side of the road, vendors seated with their merchandise. A sudden urge to get out and buy the roses I saw rose up and gnaw at me annoyingly, I drove in circles until I was back at the market place again after the light turned green. Parking my car, go out and walk over to the boy who had an abnormally large bouquet of roses. Pulling out my wallet, I took out a bill and handed it to the boy.

Taking it from my hand, "How many Sir?" The boy asked politely. Thinking for a moment, I hesitated. What quantity would be appropriate to bring? One, a dozen? Although a dozen seemed a bit excessive to me, only at the moment, not when I'm still warming my way back into Eve's life, a dozen roses seemed intimidating to bring to a first date.

"Just one will do." I told the boy, putting my wallet back on the inside pocket of my suit jacket. The boy gave me a weird look, intimidation creeping up on his expression, my brows furrowed at him.