Backstage | VSOO ✔︎

eighteen | reality

Third Person POV

"This is me Jisoo, this has always been me" like a broken record this repeated countlessly in Jisoo's mind, including the way his eyes looked at her, those deep brown orbs that used to look at her with love but was now staring blankly at her.

"Jisoo."

"Jisoo!"

"JISOO!" they always say third time's the charm, finally the echoing voice of madam BoA caught Jisoo's attention.

Lousily, Jisoo bowed deeply, apologetic for her actions.

"Jisoo what is wrong with you? Your audition is in two days! Yet your arabesque still lacks execution, your toes are too inward! No one is going to accept you looking like a bunny trying to hop!"

Jisoo keeps her head lowered as she takes in all the criticism BoA was spilling. Like a cascade effect, one criticism lead to another, never ending.

"Are you really willing to throw away years of effort and practice, years of your life? Just because of whatever trivial thing consuming your mind right now? Do not leave this practice room until you perfect your arabesque, until you're perfect enough to show your face to those judges." Madam BoA cheeks flushed in fuming red, anger was evident in her face.

"I expected more from you Jisoo. You really disappointed me today." Despite the anger BoA had felt, it was disappointment that displayed greater on her face.

Those last words BoA had said before exiting the studio, struck her harder than she had expected. Never has she felt discouraged by the harsh criticizing words BoA had said in the past, she knew it was all for the betterment as a ballerina, words that benefits her skills helping her reach her dreams. But today, today was the first time she heard the person she respected the most say she was disappointed, disappointed in her.

Harshly, Jisoo walked her way towards the mirror, grabbing her water bottle that was on the floor. Gulping large amounts, then looking at her reflection, pushing back all her worries, her eyes filled with determination.

"Fuck you" were the lasts word she said before pressing the music player.

Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy♫

Her sweat deliberately drips down the side of her jaw proceeding down to her neck. She can't even recall the amount of times she had practiced her audition piece for her dream company. This was her goal, this was the only thing that had kept her going all these years. But for the first time in her life, her heart wasn't beating with fire of passion. It was like she was numb, no longer had the ability to feel.

"FUCK!" Jisoo yelled as loud as she could, frustratingly kicking the air.

She walks around with her hands on her waist as she gasp for some oxygen. Her chest starts to become tight, it was always this lingering pain that she can't describe, one she obtained from that night.

Jisoo continues to profusely yell not minding if anyone would hear her defeating screams.

"Woah woah woah. Calm down there Banshee, are you trynna kill someone?" Just in time, Rosé came in with some food in her hands. It was the one and only spicy chicken wings, her favourite.

Jisoo rolled her eyes unconsciously, wiping the sweat on her face as she turns her body away from her best friend. She had not spoken to Rosé about what happened. She was one of the last people she wanted to see.

"What are you doing here?" Jisoo asked sternly.

Rosé sighed. She knew exactly what Jisoo was doing. Perks of being best friends since birth is that you practically know what the other person is thinking without having to say so. Actually she had heard from Jungkook what had happened. Just the skeleton of it. He wouldn't say much, he just kept going off how it wasn't his business but his hyung's.

"I saw you two days ago but why do you look thinner the last time I saw you?" Rosé tried chime in a concerning joke.

Two days ago... two days since Jisoo's heart was crumpled and tossed aside like a piece of trash.

"Come I brought your favourite food! Eat some food before you starve yourself to death"

Rose places the food on the ground, crossing her legs, positive energy radiating around her, hoping this would have an effect on Jisoo.

"Rosé I'm not hungry. Just go."

"Oh come on Jisoo, you need to feed your body too. Here at least have a drink first." Rosé stands up reaching out her arm for Jisoo to take a sip of some cold water.

"Rosé I told you to go!" Jisoo yelled, swatting her arm.

Rosé's eyes widen in shock, her mouth drapes open as she stood still surrounded by the spilt water, damping her newly washed shirt, creating a huge mess.

As if thunder had struck Jisoo upon the realization of what she had done. Instead of apologizing, she yelled even louder. "GO AWAY! Look what you've done!" Jisoo screamed, releasing all the anger, resentment, and pain she felt building up these past few days.

Rosé felt lost not knowing how to respond or act. Three full seconds passed until she attempted to take a few steps towards her frail friend, but this only made Jisoo take further steps back.

"You knew." Jisoo spoke once more.

"Huh?" Rosé asked confused.

"It's impossible Jungkook didn't tell you. Yet you had the audacity to say you're my best friend? Was it nice seeing your friend make a fool out of herself? Waiting for a simple text from a guy who only saw her as a side piece? Just another girl added onto his body count?" Jisoo's chest rise and fall rapid as her breaths became more rapid, hyperventilating.

"Look Jisoo I had no idea. I knew you guys haven't spoken and when I tried asking Jungkook why V was acting indifferent, he always resorted to V's problems were none of his business."

"Please Jisoo don't push me away. You can vent to me, I will always be your best friend who will be here for you." Rosé eyes looked at her will full concern.

"JUST GO AWAY... please. I don't need you to look at me with pity. I don't need to see your face looking at me like I'm a fragile glass ready to shatter at any moment. Im going pass this audition and that's all I need to focus on."

"So please— leave me alone." Her voice shook at each words.

This time, Rosé didn't fight it. She saw the hurt, pain, and desperateness in Jisoo's shaded orbs. The Jisoo she once knew, was no longer there. What hurt her the most is that she feels useless, not in aid to help ease the pain her best friend is feeling.

"I'll leave the food here for when you get hungry."

"And Jisoo... never hesitate to call me, please." Those were the last words Rosé spoke before finally giving the space Jisoo had asked.

Jisoo leaned her body against the barre that faces the mirror, feeling completely lifeless, like her energy and soul had been sucked out of her.

As much as she tried to hold it in, the pain came out like an uproar from her throat in the form of a silent scream. Endless stream of tears cascade down one after another, without a sign of stopping. She hits the mirror relentlessly releasing the frustration and hurt building within. The world turned into a blur, everything was gone. The last painful emotion slammed against her before she lost the feeling of feeling.