The Final Tour // Larry Stylinson

chapter 19

this chapter is basically what harry was doing while all of the other boys were asleep after their little celebration

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Harry's POV

how can he say all of this? how can he expect me to not love him anymore? love doesn't just fade away. i knew i loved him from the first day i saw him and i will proceed to love him until the day i die. i used to tell him that over and over again so why does he expect me to not be in love with him? i want to be with him so bad but i can't, not after what he did. he said in his song that he was pressured into it but it was still his choice. if he can let me go after being put under a bit of pressure then he clearly doesn't and never loved me as much as i love him. especially not if he's still going out with eleanor. he knows how much i don't like her so if he really wanted to be with me he would get a different girl for his pr stunts.

i just wish i could stop being in love with him, but i know that's impossible.

it was 5am and i had been thinking about all the ways things could have gone if i went back in time. i was 95% sure that everyone else was asleep but i wanted to check just in case. i looked into everyone's bunks and yes they were all asleep. i don't know why zayn and liam haven't told us about them yet. it's pretty obvious. they literally sneak into each others bunks every night.

because i knew that everyone was asleep i got my diary out so that i could write in it. nobody knows that i have a diary. i don't trust anyone to know because i'm afraid they'll read it. i have my deepest darkest secrets in this book, how i'm feeling, what i'm thinking, new song ideas, everything.

i was just finishing off writing my second page when i realised that it was now nearly 7am and the lads would be up soon. i went to the fridge to grab an energy drink as i hadn't slept at all. i sat down on the floor by the fridge clutching into my diary and taking sips of the drink i had gotten. i told myself i wouldn't do it again but i had to. i took my phone out of my pocket and started to look through my twitter. i went to my bookmarks as that is where i gather all of the tweets that have pictures of me and louis. looking at them always make me cry. so that's what i did, i sat there and cried. i didn't make a noise, i just sat there as the tears poured out of my eyes.

after crying until it felt like i had no more tears left, i went to sleep. i was exhausted and this wasn't an exhaustion that any energy drink could fix.

i hoped that when i woke up none of the boys or the fans would be able to tell that i wasn't okay. i hate when people worry about me.

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poor hazza

i'm purposely not telling u more abt the breakup btw, stuff will be revealed later

thanks for reading :)