Valentine's Day at Gintama High School

Chapter 5: Don't Brave the Dragon's Lair Without Any Armor

After leaving her house, Kagura ran as fast as she could to her friend Soyo's house. One, because she needed to get away from her brother, and two, because she knew Soyo would have a nice dress. Truth is, even if Kagura was able to change at home, all she had was one traditional Chinese dress (hence Sougo's nickname for her) so she had nothing suited for a school dance.

As she was sprinting, she felt her phone buzz in her pocket, and she lifted it up to see the name "Sadist" on the screen. Rolling her eyes, she picked up the call and asked, "What do you want? I'm busy running away from my brother."

"Ha, that's funny because I'M ALSO RUNNING AWAY FROM YOUR BROTHER! Why is he chasing me?! What the hell happened when Nobume went over your house? I thought she was supposed to distract your brother? He now seems very focused on killing me!" Sougo screamed through the phone, causing Kagura to pull her hand away from her ear.

"What? Are you sure? The two of them seemed to hit it off really well, so I thought they'd spend some quality time together."

"Uh-huh, well now they're spending quality time trying to murder me. Luckily I think I've lost them for now, but it won't last long. I'm confident that I could take on either of them alone, but they seriously ganged up on me!"

Kagura snorted and replied, "Serves you right. Just think of it as a quest! You can't get to the princess without defeating a dragon or two after all."

"You're no princess, Fatso, and I'm not risking the dragon's lair for you. Your treasure chest is way too small."

"Excuse me? You want me to become a third dragon chasing after you?"

"Actually yes! Please come after me! I can handle convincing Nobume! You can handle your brother for me! Tell him we're just going as friends or that you'll do something nice for him if you can go to the dance or whatever."

After stopping in her tracks and pausing for a moment, Kagura asked, "Why go through all this hassle? You only asked me so the other girls wouldn't bother you, right? Why not just tell my brother that you won't go to the dance with me?"

There was silence on the other side of the phone for a while before Sougo answered, "Well, I was already dead the moment he found out I asked you to the dance at all, so I don't think saying I won't go with you now will stop him from chasing me. I just thought... if I'm getting killed either way, I'd rather risk death trying to go to the dance with you."

Kagura let those words sink in before laughing out loud. "My goodness, Prince Charming. After all that talk about not risking the dragon's lair for me, here you are diving head first into the fire. Alright, I'll come over. Just send me your location. The princess is coming to the rescue."

"What kind of fairy tale is this? I thought the prince was supposed to save the princess, not the other way around," Sougo said, chuckling. "I'll meet you in the lair, princess."

"Roger that," Kagura responded before hanging up the call and taking off.

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"Wait, are you wearing makeup right now?"

When she heard his voice behind her, she put down the makeup brush and turned to face him. Shinpachi was looking at his big sister, Otae, with a bewildered look.

"Why? Does it look weird, Shin-chan?"

Otae was wearing a red skater dress and red wedges. To match the theme, Otae tried bold red lipstick, but she went way over her lip lines. Her eyeliner was also ridiculously uneven, and she had an excessive amount of blush. Shinpachi began to sweat as he searched for the right answer.