Lennox. Me. & Apartment C.

001.

I remember the day like it was yesterday. It was my 20th birthday, the week before my second year in college, and it had been going swimmingly so far. That day, my best friend, Delia, woke me up by song and treated me to birthday brunch. Afterwards, we went to have a spa day and you won't believe what happened: I got a job! I didn't get just any job. No, I got my dream job and the one I had been lusting after for an eternity. By eternity, I just meant all summer since it was now August 22. Ok, let me start from the beginning because I know I can be a bit hard to follow and the last thing I want is to lose you before we even begin.

I'm Mary-Jane Quinn Rinaldi, but everyone calls me Quinn. Well, my friends and family-- and anyone who actually knows me-- call me Quinn. To the rest of the world, I'm MJ. I'm a bit of an Internet and local celebrity; I'm a comedienne. You know, a female comedian? Anyway, I'm super funny and I've been doing shows for about three years now. When walking down the halls of my university, however, I saw an ad looking for someone to hold a long-term position as the in-house entertainment of a comedy club on another university's campus. At first, I thought it was weird that I would see a flyer at my college, but then I realized that desperation could drive people to do crazy things. In this case, it was to snag talent from another school. Regardless, I applied and, needless to say, I got the job! I remember it like it just happened-oh wait, all of this really did sort of just happened.

Delia and I were sitting in a sauna, relaxing and opening our pores for the thorough cleansing that would soon follow. While we were in there, my phone began to ring. Honestly, I did not pay any attention to see who was on the other line of the incoming call before I picked up the phone. After all, it was my birthday and I figured people would be calling to wish me various birthday wishes. So, you could only imagine my surprise when I answered the phone to find the voice of a Karen Landry, Dean on Student Affairs, on the line. The nature of the call was to apologize for not calling me sooner but to alert me that I got the job as an in-house entertainer if I was still interested. Of course, I told her how happy I was to get the call and that I would gladly accept. From there, she discussed the terms of my hiring, which was quite simple: move into my university-owned apartment with some kid who really was 50 Shades of Irrelevant; bus tables at the comedy club during the weeknights, with the exception of Finals week; and perform a set each weekend, which could not be offensive, something else, and something or another. Upon completion of the school year, my credits would transfer back to my university and I would then decide if I wanted to renew my contract. I would get paid every two weeks for bussing tables; on the fifteenth and thirtieth of each month, I would get an extra check for my weekly performances. Oh, plus tips! I got to make and keep tips! Then, she said something about some rules and that my boss decides something because he would be in charge of advertising and doing things. As you can see, I was not really paying attention but I understood the gist of everything: don't make Boss mad. I was set to move in the following week and Ms. Landry told me she would email me a document about everything she just mentioned and to call her back if I had any questions.

Once I got off the phone, I spilled the details to Delia immediately as we shuffled our way to the massage room. We hiked ourselves up on our respective tables and waited for our masseuses. She was really excited for me, and began talking about ways she could plan an escape from work so she could come visit me. Delia is 24 so she actually had a life, responsibilities, and a committed relationship. We met in high school through the Big Sister/Little Sister tradition. Every year, seniors would "adopt" a little sister, either a freshman or a transfer student, and show them the ropes. Delia was my big sister and we've been close ever since. She was there for me and would come back to visit me when she went away for college. Sometimes I would visit her, but it was much harder when I did not have a driver's license and playing Hooky meant missing six classes as opposed to her missing one or two, depending on the day. After our massages, manicures, pedicures, and facials, we went our separate ways with promises to hang out again before I left for my new university. That sounds so great, huh?! Me leaving for my new university with a super cool job and whatnot. We would have spent the whole day together but Sebastian, Delia's boyfriend, was sick and she was going to tend to him. Meanwhile, I just drove home, baeless.