Sound of a Broken Drum

Chapter 5 - Start of Part II

You could meet 100 people and not feel a thing. You could meet 100 thousand people, 1 million even, and not feel a goddamn thing. But all it takes is that one person, that one soul to light a spark in you. And then it is like nothing you have ever experienced before. You will never look back on life the same way again. The past is gone. The present is your future. You finally know why you are here.

Today is your lucky day, pal.

I never believed in luck. Luck just fucks people over.

Then how would you explain it?

Maybe... destiny?

You believe in that shit?

I do now.

Today felt like a brand new day. Not a recycled one like the rest of the days feel. It is like something died in me and got reincarnated into something so much better. Kind of like the death cycle, but within your lifetime. I read that it happens to people and that's how their souls grow. They shed their worldly beings, their thoughts, ideas, memories. It goes through a fire. Some of it gets lost but the essence perseveres. And what's left is brand new, fresh, ready to take on the world like a newborn. Everything about that feels like the way I did when I woke up today.

I was going to see Charlotte again today. At 3 o'clock, we were going to meet at Talisma Lake after she was done with her classes for the day. I still had all this time to get ready, to wait. All I could do was think about her.

In fact, I couldn't wait to go outside. I wanted to be out there, with the city and people, hearing the noises, watching the colors, feeling the world turn on its axis. Something about seeing everything move in action, to be alive along with it, I wanted to be out there. So I got myself cleaned up and went for a walk.

It was the late morning on a Thursday. Something about Thursday mornings felt like a sense of relief in everyone as they went in pushing towards the end of the work week before the weekend. One more push, one more try, and then RELIEF.

Funny enough, I wasn't going to be working today anyway so in a sense, the weekend had already started. In fact, according to Ross, it was going to be a VERY long weekend. A little unusual, yes, but I thought maybe he saw me with her and thought I could use some extra time getting to know her. That doesn't necessarily sound like something Ross would do but I figure there was a heart in him after all. Anyway, all I wanted to think about was

CHARLOTTE!

I went to a bakery to buy a few pastries and ate them walking around the neighborhood. The houses and buildings all around were full of color, vivid and bright as if someone had recently slapped on a fresh coat of paint on each and every one of them. You see the occasional person walking along the way and they just make you smile. And they smile back. In fact, for once I felt like the ray of sunshine that everyone needed. The senior citizens with their scowls and frowns, the uptight yuppies, the child crying after falling off the jungle gym, you wanted them to feel something else, something greater. And you can show it to them with a smile.

The sun beamed higher up on the horizon and I didn't want to burn myself out too quickly in it so I went back to my place to rest up before meeting Charlotte. I watched something on TV for a bit but all the drama felt goofy so I pulled out my laptop and worked on a poem.

You are
The amalgamation
Of every dream
Over a lifetime
Spent trying
To make sense
Of the chaos
What never made sense

A lifetime of casting dreams
That went nowhere
A lifetime of puzzle pieces
That showed nothing
For every dream I cast
100 disappointments rained down
But with every dream cast
It pulled me ever so closer

For every piece I found
Cut my hands with a million shards
But with every piece found
Pieced the puzzle just a little bit more

And then
Like a collection of broken parts
Suddenly arranging
Into the masterpiece

You are
The amalgamation
Of every disappointment
Of every bleeding cut
Becoming a blessing
For each curse
I would gladly relive again

You are
What a man will suffer through hell for
You are
What makes him smile at the end