Sound of a Broken Drum

Chapter 9 - Start of Part III

I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.

Those words still rang in my head from the previous night. What they meant. They are often the crescendo point for a person's life when they say or hear them. It means something, even if some people use it the wrong way. Or they don't mean it. Or they stop meaning it. There's a lot that can happen with these words, for better or worse. They are just words after all. It is what you actually do behind these words that matter. And sometimes, bad things happen. And these words get put to the test. What did they mean in the darkest moments? Does its definition just evaporate? Do the words bend or break? It's amazing how much pressure we put on three simple words when we don't even really know what they mean. Yet, we do know they mean something. And we often spend most of our lives learning what that something is.

I was still in bed. I felt so drowsy that I could have spent the entire day laying there. It was like something hit me on the head and I had just woken up from it. Something just felt a little off. There was still that good feeling from remembering Charlotte, our time last night by the lake, the amazing view, but it was like other thoughts crept in my head along with it. It was like my mind wasn't pure in its vision the way the other mornings felt. I didn't think it had anything to do with Charlotte though; I still adored her. But it was like something else was lingering, crowding my mind. Still not quite sure what it was though.

Laying in bed, I looked down on my body and realized I was still wearing my street clothes from last night. I guess I hadn't changed when I returned home. I sat up, rubbing my temples.

The motion made me feel a little woozy. Maybe I had caught a head cold from being out last night in the chilled air by the lake. It made sense that I would. Perhaps that explained what I was feeling? There was some relief in the thought, a rational explanation.

I stretched out and moved slowly out of bed. I thought about the day and realized my plans for it were cloudy in my head. I wasn't even sure if I was scheduled to work at Kola's today. Had I not checked the schedule? Did I just not remember? And what about Charlotte? Did I have any plans with her today? I couldn't remember whether we had talked about it. I suppose I would just call her later and see. She was usually up for anything as long as she didn't have too much class that day.

I made some cereal and sat at my desk. Everything just felt rough. It must be a head cold. Or even a fever. I checked my forehead but it was cool. I wasn't really coughing either. It was all within my head. I sighed.

What is wrong with me? I just feel so...

Don't you remember?

About Charlotte?

No. Don't you remember?

What are you talking about?

What am I talking about?

My phone rang. The sound threw me off like I wasn't ready for it yet. Though I guess you're usually not ready for a call you weren't expecting. I assumed it would be my mom but when I looked at the phone, I realized it was actually Jamal.

Jamal?

I took the call. I could hear his breathing on the other side.

"Hey Jamal, what's up?"

"Syd!" He was practically shouting. "Dude... how are you? Are you okay, man?"

His tone was absolutely strange. It didn't sound the way Jamal usually sounded. There was an utter tremble in his voice, an urgency that felt jarring and serious.