Sound of a Broken Drum

Chapter 6

If you could choose
Would you
Spend an eternity in a fantasy
Just so you could fall asleep at night?

I couldn't see Charlotte on Friday because of her busy schedule. She told me she had (and I quote) 'class up the ass' but that the weekend would be free. I was still laying in bed, speechless from the previous day at the lake. Remembering her with the trees and the lake, the world rushing all around her. She was always at center, dancing as she walked, moving with the grace of a ballet, waiting on me to keep up. It was a dance procession culminating with her touch, her head on my shoulder, as we watched the sunset dim over the treeline. The peace and serenity I felt, magnified by the great deep body of water that sat restfully at our feet; there was no other place in that moment that mattered more. The world could have collapsed into itself and it would have felt fine if the final moment was perfect like that.

In my bed, I dazedly looked on, playing, rewinding, playing, rewinding, that moment. Until a buzz came out of my phone.

I looked at it and saw that Ross had left a text message asking how I was doing. There was an egregious use of emojis, as if he wanted to convey his enthusiasm through the words on the screen. It was strange enough to hear from him being that he was just my boss at work, especially after the last message, but I assured him I was doing great, even offering to work today since I was free. He responded with multiple thumbs up and wrote that he was looking forward to seeing me come back to work. Ross still remained adamant that I take the rest of the weekend off. I conceded and thanked him, showing much more sincere appreciation than I normally would. There was a strange new level of empathy in the exchange.

Not long after Ross's text, Jamal had messaged me as well, also checking in on me. It was almost overwhelming to hear from him as well. I did not recall ever really talking to either of them outside of work and all of the sudden, they both contact me on the same day. All this with the timing of Charlotte, my newfound level of hope and optimism just kept peaking higher. A coincidence? Maybe this also had something to do with Charlotte after all. If not directly, maybe it was all part of the same path, a master plan?

I've heard of experiences in people's lives aligning at certain moments where everything all of a sudden happens like branches coming together and intertwining. A mess that eventually clears into a cohesive pattern when the haze lifts, like watching the constellations rise up the night sky after a thunderstorm clears through. It felt like that was exactly what was happening to me. I embraced the thought.

I responded to Jamal's message and we began to talk. Not just one of our regular chats at work; we actually began to have a conversation. It felt wonderful to get to know him.

I've always thought of us as coworkers, acquaintances on really good terms, definitely a mutual respect between us. But now that we were talking outside of work, it practically felt like we have become friends. We chatted about Jamal's music production stuff, how his rhymes were going, about his life which I actually knew very little about. He asked about mine and I told him about Charlotte, about how I randomly met her at the coffee shop one day, and how it made everything feel so different since. Even just through words on a screen, it still felt like bonding on a level I wasn't familiar with. The conversation eventually ended, though there was an exciting new prospect about having Jamal and Charlotte as people in my life. There was a bridge and I was beginning to cross over to the world outside of me.

Later in the day, I took a shower. After I had come out, I noticed a missed call from mom. I thought about calling her back but considering how I just talked to her the other day, I figured I could wait before having another one of our textbook conversations. She needed to learn to take her mind off of me anyway and talking to her again so soon would not help to do that. Anyway, if it were an emergency she would have left a message.