Learning life the hardest way

Dear Dad.. ♡

used to pick me up from school i remember
had some broken dreams still fueled like an ember
it's the hardest pill to swallow that you are not here around
everything reminds us of you, but you're in a better place keeping sound.

we had early morning breakfast but you were late for dinner
for all the blows you faced you still had a face of grinner
and deep down i thought you could do everything in hand
for this world you were a human, for me you were my superman.

when i fell, of course a million times i still do
i knew i was going to be fine when i had you
i had no bedtime stories but admired your tales
i wanted to make you proud in words this world always spells

i used to cry when i had nightmares grabbing your hands
and you told me to fight with my demons until they can't withstand.
you were strong but lost patience when i fell sick
you always trusted me through the times thin and thick.

it is going to be a year, seems like decades without you
you left us off the shore, with no life jacket how'd you?
life goes on, but it's not the same as it used to be
we're learning to be strong no matter how much it gets sloppy.

happy never suited me since i made peace with my dark side
it is familiar to me now, that once made me terrified.
you know papa, i miss you more than i could tell
and the farther you seem your presence is always felt.

you are always the first and last thought etched in our head
and the hardest goodbyes are often the ones not said.