Innocence [ spencer reid x reader ] ✔

fourteen: broken

TW: mentions of drugs and drug abuse, descriptions of drugs

It's been a month. A month since that incident in the closet. A month since you and Spencer have actually spoken to each other about anything personal. You had tried texting him, tried catching him at work to talk—but he ignores you. And the worst part is that you see him getting worse. He's still using—you can tell. Not just by his moods, which are severely unstable, but he shows up late. He's unfocused. The bags under his eyes just keep getting darker. He looks so fucking tired. It hurts you that he's hurting. You've never experienced PTSD, but you've profiled it before. You can't imagine what he's going through, and all you fucking want is to try to help him.

You still haven't talked to JJ. The two of you barely glance at each other. You know it's not her fault that she and Spencer split up—Spencer had made that very clear when talking to the team. You regret what you said to her in Georgia, but part of you is too proud to say anything to her. But you know she's struggling, too.

The worst part about watching Spencer struggle is that no one else seems to notice. Sure, they share glances. Morgan seems to be staring at Spencer more than usual, Emily giving him questioning glances. But no one says anything—no one tries. Your anger stays stagnant in your chest all the time, threatening to explode.

The team staggers back into the office after a case in Louisiana—men dying outside of bars. The unsub was a woman who killed sleazy men because she got raped once. In your opinion, she was doing the world a favor, but the United States government does not see it that way. You drop your go bag on your desk, groaning.

"Why was that case so tiring?" You complain, inhaling deeply through your nose.

"It wasn't that bad," Prentiss says, leaning against her desk.

"It's just tough when the lines are blurred," Hotch says.

"My loves, you're back!" Garcia waltzes into the room, arms wide open. Morgan gives her a hug before she moves to you. You hug her tightly, watching as she gives everyone a hug. Spencer declines, a small smile on his face.

You frown, eyeing him. You bite the inside of your cheek as the team continues talking. Spencer quietly gathers his things, slinging his bag over his shoulder. He looks up at the team, eyes landing on everyone before settling on you. The look in his eyes isn't anger—it's something else. Regret. Sadness. Hurt. Loneliness. Helplessness. He holds your gaze for a moment before turning away, swiftly pushing the BAU doors open.

You watch him walk past the doorframe, closing behind him before swiveling to the team. They're laughing and joking—talking about going out to the bar. Your hands curl into fists.

"What the fuck is wrong with all of you?" Your accusing tone cuts through their conversation, five heads swiveling in your direction.

"Wha—"