Broken (Carl Grimes)

Chapter 6

Carl just stares at me with a smile on his face. 

He says " I intend to. "

I say " Who is she talking about?"

He says " You will find out one day. "

I say " Where's Taylor? "

Carl says "Want me to go get him? "

I nod and Carl leaves. I look at Hershal.

I say " Thank you. For taking care of me. "

He says " Hey i noticed something i wanted to ask you about before the boys get here. "

I say " Yeah whats up ?"

He walks over to my and lifts my shirt up. I lay down and let him look.

He says " Theres bruises and scars right there. What happened? "

I feel the spot and memories wash over to me.

~Flash back~

 Worthless

ugly

whore

thot

fat

stupid

These words i would hear multiple times a day. By people at school, my family, almost everybody i have in my life. 

This is the last time. The last time i will live to hear these words. I already took all those words out on my skin.So whats it matter? Thats right it dont. 

I shuffle the pills in my hand around. Tonights the final night im going to deal with all this bullshit. I look at the cup of water infront of my. I slowly reach for it and take it in my right hand. I bring my left hand thats pull of the pills to my mouth and take a big gulp of water. Thats it. 

Oh no no no no what have i done? 

I quickly run down stairs and see my dad passed out and my mom watching tv. 

I say " Mom, we need to go to the hospital right now. "

She looks at me alarmed and quickly gets up.

She says " What why? Whats wrong? "

I say " I i took some pills. "

She quickly picks up her phone and has a conversation with the people. She hangs up the phone and looks at me. 

She says "What did you take ?"

I say " A lot of my cough medicine. "

She says " Oaky, okay dont worry. You dont have to be scared. There going to pump your stomach and everything will be okay. "

I nod slowly with the tears filling my eyes. 

I whisper " Im just tired of everyone hating me. "

My mom looks at me. I meet her stare and sigh. I start pacing as were waiting on the ambulance. My head is starting to spin and around my eyes is starting to go black. I take one last look at my mother. The only person who really cared. I collaps on the floor adn everything goes black. 

I was in a coma for a week. A few days after i got home is when the outbreak first happened. They said i barley lived. If i would of had one more pill i would have been gone. But its what i wanted. I made myself in pain daily. Cuts, bruises, not eating, burning myself, you name it. 

~End of flashback~

I look up  at Hershal after explaining everything. The things my father did. The things i did. Im in tears, crying pretty hard. I never opened up about it to anyone. No one knew or cared. 

He says "Im sorry you had to go through that. Beth tried once. When we werer back at the farm. Everyone stopped her. And im couldnt thank them enough for saving my little girl. Now imagine how your mother feels. To know you made it through it. It means you still have a purpose. "

 I say " I know. i know. "

I hear footsteps and Taylor comes in. 

Hershal says " Ill leave you to alone. "

I say " Thank you. "

He nods and leaves. 

Taylor says "Im glad your alive. "

I slowly nod. I dont really know why i wanted him in here. 

I say " What you said. Is it true? "

He says " What did i say? "

I say " That you loved me. More than friends. "

He says " You heard that? "

I say " Yeah. "

He says " Well i mean i said it for a reason. "

I say " Then why are you with Savannah? "

He says " because i know i dont have a chance with you. I see the way you look at him. Theres this spark in your eyes. And you laugh and smile around him. You act so different when your with me. "

I say " Look at who? "

He says " Carl. "

I say " He's my best friend Taylor. I dont like him. "

He says " When a girl and a boy are best friends one of them always as feelings for the other. They just wont admit it. Thinking its to weird. Theres no way you have never been attraked to him. "

I say " Taylor i uhmm i have been but that doesnt mean i didnt have feelings for you because i did and you ruined it with Savannah. Now all my feelings do go to Carl because i was so mad and you acted like you didnt even care. You didnt go after me when i ran off, you didnt hold me tight when i cried, you didnt take care of me when i was sick, you didnt do shit! It was all him and if you think that i have no reson to like him then your wrong! I have no reason to like you so i dont! "

Hershal walks in and i look at him angry. 

He says " Allicia, you need to calm down. If you have to much comotion it could cause you to go back into the coma."

I say "Then get him out of my face. I dont wanna speak to him or see to him. I wanna see my brother. Where is he? "

They all go scilent and put there heads down. Somethings wrong.

I say"Wheres my brother? "

I look at the door as someone comes in. Rick.

He says "Whats going on in here? "

I say "Wheres my brother? "

He looks me in they eyes and puts his head down. He helps me lay back. i start calming myself some more.

He says "Your brother. He uhh he got bit. Out on a run. He gave me something to give to you."

Rick pulls out a piece of paper and hands it to me. I look at the front of it and it has my name written on it real pretty. A tear starts falling down my cheek. My brothers gone. I just got him back and now hes gone.