The Dark Antihero | Avengers: Endgame [6]

Chapter 36

a/n This is an EXTREMELY dark chapter, so if you're sensitive to that kind of stuff, I would recommend skipping it. You can resume at the next chapter.

2 Months Later...

I couldn't take it. I couldn't stand how heavy my heart always felt. My lungs always felt constricted, and I constantly wanted to cry. I wanted to escape this pain forever. I wanted freedom.

I walked onto the street, scoping out the right spot. I went all the way up to the roof. Just as I was about to take my shoes off on the rooftop, there I see a girl with braided hair here before me.

Despite myself, I go and scream, "Hey! Don't do it, please!"

Woah, wait a minute, what did I just say? 

I couldn't care less either way. To be honest, I was somewhat pissed. 

This was an opportunity missed. The girl with braided hair told me her woes.

"You've probably heard it all before. I really thought that he might be the one, but then he told me he was done," she said.

I was pissed. My chance was ruined. I've lost my chance of freedom for today.

"For god's sake, please! Are you serious?! I just can't believe that for some stupid reason you got here before me! Are you upset because you can't have what you wanted? You're lucky that you've never gotten robbed of anything!"

"I'm feeling better, thank you for listening," the girl with braided hair then disappeared. I sighed, going back down. Today is just not my day. I thought, my hand sliding down the railing as I returned home.

"Hey, Tanya, what is it?" Steve was in the driveway as I returned. "Oh, nothing. I was just taking a walk around the city," I lied.

"Well, do you want to go inside?" He asked.

"No, I want to stand out here in the cold for no reason at all," I sassed, crossing over to the front door and unlocking it, stepping into the sad, empty house.

"Are you okay?" He asked, sitting down and looking at me.

"Always," I lied, smiling at him. He didn't know.

He didn't need to know.

Alright, today's the day, or so I thought. Just as I took both of my shoes off, there was but a girl tall as can be. Despite myself, I go and scream. This petite girl told me her woes.

"You've probably heard it all before. Everyone ignores me, everyone steals. I don't fit in with anyone here,"

"For god's sake, please! Are you serious?! I just can't believe that for some stupid reason you got here before me! 'Cause, even so, you're still loved by everyone at home. There's always dinner waiting on the table, you know!"

"I'm hungry," said the girl as she shed a tear. The girl tall as can be then disappeared.

Again, another chance ruined. It was like life way trying to tell me something. But that wasn't going to stop me.

And like that, there was someone every day. I listened to their tale, I made them turn away. And yet there was no one who do this for me. No way I could let out all this pain.

I went up to the rooftop like I had every day. For the very first time, there I see someone with the same pains as me. Having done this time and time again. She wore a yellow cardigan.

"I just want to stop the scars that grow every time that I go home. That's why I came up here instead," that's what the girl in the cardigan said.

Woah, wait a minute, what did I just say? I couldn't care less either way! But in the moment I just screamed something that I cannot believe.

"Hey. Don't do it please,"

Oh, what to do? I can't stop this girl, oh, this is new. For once, I think I've bitten off more than I can chew. But even so, "Please just go away so I can't see your pitiful expression, it's just too much for me!"

"I guess today is just not my day," she looked away from me, and then she disappeared. I went over to the railing, clenching my hands around it tightly. Every day. Every day I was stopped. Life was sending me a message I didn't want to listen to.

I returned home like I did every day. Steve waiting in the driveway, like he did every day.

"You're enjoying those walks, aren't you?" He asked.

"Yeah, it's refreshing. Really clears the head," I lied.

"I know. You feeling alright?" Every day, he asked me that. Every day, I lied to him.

"Yep. You always ask, and it's the same answer. Gotta admit, kinda getting tired of answering,"

"Well, you never know. You can talk to me, Tanya," he assured me.

"There's nothing to talk about," I deflected, heading to the door and unlocking it.

"You're deflecting," he accused.

"Why would I do that?" I countered.

"There's no need to get defensive," he sighed, and I relaxed my shoulders.

"Sorry. Bad day," I lied.

"You wanna talk about it?" He asked.

"Nope," I said, going inside and closing the door behind me, letting a few tears escape.

I resolved to do it tomorrow. Tomorrow, not today. He's watching. He'd follow me. I straightened up, laying down in bed and staring at the same.

Any night, every night. I was getting tired of counting the times the fire alarm light blinked. And yet, I did it anyway.

---

Loki leaned on Tanya's desk, watching her count the flashes of the fire alarm.

"Five-seventy-three, five-seventy-four, five-seventy-five..." he glanced at the clock on the wall. It was three in the morning, and there she laid, counting flashes.

He had been following her for weeks, watching her go up to the same rooftop every day. Finding someone new there, talking them down.

He was well aware of how miserable she was. The silent tears, clenched fists, and disappointed sighs never slipped by him.

"Go to sleep, Tanya," he sighed, and she flinched slightly. To her, his voice was a breath of cold air in the room, sending a chill down her spine. He stood up, walking through the door.

He strolled through the house, arriving in the bathroom and picking up a shard of glass.

Tanya had broken the mirror after she flung a brush at it out of anger, and she hadn't bothered to clean it up. He flipped the shard over, seeing the scratch marks in the glass and running his finger over it. 

As she departed the next day, he arranged the shards on the doormat.

One-thirty-six Redemption Passage.

---

There's no one here today, I guess it's time. It's just me, myself, and I. There is no one who can interfere. No one to get in my way here.

Taking off my yellow cardigan, watching my braids all come undone. This petite girl, tall as can be, is gonna jump now and be free.