Sorry Doesn't Exist

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(WARNING: Heavy amount of abuse, some blood, s**cide, and some no-no words. I've already made two people cry with this, one internally, and one physically, just a few tears though, Enjoy if you're reading it.)


Sorry? Sorry isn't a word that exists with them anymore...

Lately, I haven't been able to see the sun in a while, it's rays shining brightly as it always brings a good morning. I haven't been able to see the moon for a while, the cool, crisp air blowing gently as the stars shine their best. I would have been able to see them if it wasn't for the planks of wood that were used to board up my entire window. I tried moving my arm a bit, but all I felt was pain coursing through my entire body. Giving up, I let it touch the pool of blood that surrounded me, staining the already dirty clothes that I had on. My eyes were heavy as I tried to open them fully, even though I wasn't even feeling tired at all.How long was I out for? I can't remember. I mean, dad did give me a hard blow last time, guess I passed out for like the fourth time. Oh geez, I really need to get up before he starts banging the door, or even worse, mother. Dad may have the punches and all, but mom, she has all the words. And it hurts, a lot. At times I've really wanted to talk back, I should have! But that'll just end up with another beating instead of a victory. I tried so FREAKING HARD just to prove myself that I am not what they say I am! But I can't... It's hopeless to even try to fight. They say good things will come in time, where is it for me then?... I can't cry, not right now. I have to get up...

That's when I heard shots fired

It surprised me a bit, although I knew Dad owned a gun. But why use it now? Did something happen? Could it possible that maybe... Someone knew what I was dealing with and came to rescue me but failed? All these possibilities swarming through my mind, I used the last bit of strength I had to pick myself and limp over to my closed door. Once opened, I slowly went for the stairs. I called out to my parents to at least know what happened... But nobody spoke. The house was dead silent, you can even hear the sound of a needle dropping to the ground. I made my way to the stairs as I started to go down... Literally, my legs actually gave out on me. I could feel the pain that was once just little return back to even greater waves. Once my 'trip' to downstairs was over, I tried to stand up, limping every now and then. I could just pass out right there and now! But I couldn't, I didn't want to. I needed to know what were those gunshots. 

It took me some time to regain balance and vision, but once I was clear in the head, time just seems to stop all of a sudden... Two bodies laid on the floor, pools of blood covering the floor. Some even stained the white painted wall, dripping down as if it were a stain from a bottle of spray paint. These two bodies... My mother and father, dead, right in front of me...

Hah... Hahaha... Hahahahahahahahaha! This... This MUST be a dream! Are my eyes deceiving me?! Has it been so long since I've seen the Sun, Moon, and stars that I've gotten INSANE?!... Is this what they mean by "good things to come"...

I spotted the weapon that caused all of this, my dad's gun. Hah, how funny. It was supposed to be used for any trespassers, or maybe even for me. I guess Irony put him in his place... But this isn't what I want. I don't feel... Satisfied yet.

Without any thought, I grabbed the gun and checked the barrel to see if there were any bullets left. Just one... Heheh, they've saved the best for last! How fascinating! This feeling... It's new. It's as if I'm being welcomed by the hands that will accept me as who I am. I need it... I need this feeling forever!

I placed the barrel back in its place, then placed the gun against my head... So this is it. The moment I've been waiting for. I'll finally be free from these wretched chains that held me down, from the dirty cage that kept me confined in this so-called "hell". I'll finally be free from all of this... THIS is the good thing I've been waiting for. With that, I'll finally pull the trigger that'll set me free...



I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough, I'm sorry I wasn't the person you wanted me to be. I'm sorry that I failed you. I'm sorry that you have to see me this way... I'm sorry that I've been a bitch to you, I'm sorry that you've seen my ugly face, I'm sorry for fucking everything I've ever done to make you both mad. I'm sorry... I'm sorry that I ever existed.


But "sorry" doesn't exist to them anymore... Even for me.





(So you actually read the whole thing, huh? Okay so, uh, here's a funny story. I've actually wanted to write an adventure with a bit of blood short story... BUT then my depressed a** came and said "NO! You're going to write something sad, like you always do! And you know these type of stories make whoever reads this either scare or sad!"... And so I did that. What's funny though was I only thought it'll make people just sad, NOT CRY! I showed it to one person, they felt like crying, even though they didn't. I still kind of count it though. Then I showed it to my friend in school and it they cried actual tears! I mean, I know I write some sad or scary stuff, BUT I DIDN'T MEAN TO MAKE THEM CRY!!! I now still question my writing skills, if it's either a skill or a curse. I didn't mean to make them cry and I still feel bad ;-; ANYWAY, Have a nice day! AND SORRY IF I EVER MADE YA CRY OR NOT! SORRY!!!)

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