Beneath The Static [The Wanted (Jay McGuiness<3)]

Snow Angel

I wake up to the smell of something cooking and without opening my eyes I feel the space beside me.

Holyhammeredmonkeys! I think and sprint out of my bedroom.

"Mornin'." Jay greets me with a smile. Quickly, I throw my hair up into a messy bun being self-consciously aware of my bed head. "I felt bad about lunch yesterday so I decided to make you breakfast."

"Thought you couldn't cook." I grumble.

"I can. I just don't like to." He shrugs and sets a plate of waffles and eggs on the dining table. I sit and he hands me a cup of tea.

"It's perfect." I tell him, taking a long drink from the mug. Jay sits across from me with his own plate and mug. "How did you wake up so early?"

"I had a hard time sleeping."

"Oh geez! I'm sorry." I frown. "Did I hit you in my sleep? Don't know why I would have; I had a good dream. Did I talk? Oh no my sinuses are acting up. Did I snore?" I ramble.

"No." He laughs. "You were very quiet and quite still." I blush. I don't think I'd been so embarrassed since my second grade crush kissed me in the middle of reading circle. Jay just smiles at me. "Do you have your stuff packed?"

"Yep."

"All your things together?"

"Yes."

"Do you-"

"When did I become your child?" I interrupt.

"That's not what I meant." I stare at him, waiting for him to explain why all of a sudden I seem to be a chore. But he doesn't say anything.

"I should go shower and get ready to leave." I huff.

"Aren't you going to finish eating?"

"It was great, thanks, but I don't like to eat too much before flying." I saunter back into my room where I collect my clothes in one arm, throw them on the washroom counter and take a nice shower. Realising I forgot a bra I have to peak out to make sure the coast is clear to sneak into my closet and back into the washroom. Clutching a towel snugly around my body I make a break for the closet and pick out a random bra and make to run back to the bathroom when I bump into Jay.

"Ungph." I look up at Jay, completely mortified that I'm essentially naked despite the towel. I can feel the temperature rise in my cheeks exponentially. "Erm - I - dressed." I stammer and pushed passed him. Once dressed I walk out with my head hung, which is only my mistake as I smashed into Jay again.

"Could you give me five feet?" I hiss.

"Sorry." He says distractedly and goes into the sitting room. There was something completely off about Jay. Or there was something wrong with me. Either way it was weird. I sit on my bed to slip on my shoes and lace them up. Grabbing my purse and my carry-on I stand looking into my room and frown.

I'm going to see Siva. I remind myself and perk up a bit.

"Ready." I tell Jay and without saying anything he gets up and we walk to his car.

There's another uncomfortable silence between the two of us that doesn't end until  he's dropping me off at the first security gate. He's a hoodie and sunglasses on so he's not so recognisable, especially since the others aren't with him too. He asks me to stay with him for a moment and he opens his mouth like he's going to say something but closes it and clenches his jaws.

"I'll see you." I offer a smile. Jay's hands shoot up to my face but they never make contact and float awkwardly back to his sides. I felt a pang of longing. I clear my throat.

"Yeah, see you."

*

Landing in Ireland didn't feel any different than being in London except that I had a new excitement because Siva was picking me up.

Just wait outside your airline sign.

He texts me. I grin and bite my lip. Soon enough a silver car pulls right in front of me and the window rolls down to reveal Siva.

"Le's go!" He smirks. I throw my things in the backseat and go around to the passenger's side.

"It's so great to see you!" I burst, leaning over and wrapping my arms around his neck. He chuckles, I let go, and we're on our way out of the airport.

"How was your day with Jay?" He asks almost immediately.

"It was good." I shrug. "A bit weird, but it was fine."

"Alright. Hey there's this little pub by my house; wanna go?" I raise an eyebrow at him.

"When you say little-"

"I mean we'll be safe." He laughs, cutting me off. I nod.

We park at Siva's house and walk the little ways to the pub. Once there, we get a table in a corner and order a couple beers and some chips. I throwback a few and talk jovially with Siva.

"I'm really so happy to be spending the holidays with you." I grin and take bite of a chip.

"Trust me. So am I." Siva smiles brilliantly. "I haven't asked yet; how's work?"

"Brilliant. Chef Neil's thrilled with me and there's something I wanted to tell you before I tell anyone else." I stare soberly at him.

"What is it?"

"He wants me as a partner. He said when my three year visa is up, he'll sponsor me for citizenship. I'm nearly guaranteed." I few more of whatever the bartender is giving me and I'm floating on the edge of my inhibitions, mischievously letting them slip by without meaning to. Seev pays for us and we walk out arm in arm. When we get outside a nice layer of snow covers the ground.

"It's so beautiful." I gasp.

"Let's go." He chuckles.

"Seev?"

"Yeah?"

"What's going on with Jay?" I pout.

"I really wish I could tell ya." He grimaces.

"Because you don't know or because you can't tell me?"

"Because I can't tell you."

"I'm confused."

"So is he."

"Seev?"

"What is it?"

"I want to kiss you." He turns to me with a pained look. I back away but trip on something, sending me backwards onto a smooth, thick patch of snow where Siva lands on top of me. He looks me in the eyes and it feels like he's searching my soul. A fire erupts in my abdomen. Not a pain but a pleasant warmth. It's the warmth you get when the butterflies escape. Seev breathes deep and I can feel his every muscle move against me.

"Seev?" I breathe in sharp, cold air that makes me shiver. He goes to get up but I pull him back to me. Our lips crash, it's smooth, in sync. This kiss is what every kiss should be; warm, comforting, secure. But there's also something fundamentally wrong.

"I was sort of afraid of that." Siva sighs as soon as we break apart.

"I don't understand." I whine and slap my palms on the ground. I roll so that I'm sitting on top of Siva. "It's not fair. You're the most beautiful man there is. I love you so much. You make me laugh and you make me feel special. Why doesn't it work?" I hit his chest and cry. Siva just reaches up and grabs my face, pulling me down and giving me the sweetest, softest kiss there ever could be. He sighs again.

"Sometimes what we want isn't what god as planned for us." Siva holds me to his chest.

"Could he give me a hint because I don't think this could be anymore confusing." I sniff. "I mean when I kissed Jay it was just all wrong. Like he did it but didn't want to."

"That couldn't be any further from the truth." Siva laughs. "He's just confused too."

I doubted with every fiber of my being that Jay was anywhere near as befuddled as I was. He could have any girl and it didn't take much to pass me over. Right now I took comfort in Siva's steady breath that sent me happily out of consciousness.