muse(ic)//mygxreader

24💬

(Very sensitive topics. I dont rly know if there is a trigger warning for it but mentions of lots of sensitive topics and lyrics of suicide. Lyrics written by me so pls be nice. These are real words of my thoughts. And i dont say that for pity)

"Just leave!" Y/n yelled at Yoongi. The stress of the past few months made her break.

"I just want to help," He tried to reason, going to grab her wrist. She pulled herself away. The pain in her eyes let Yoongi know she wasn't thinking rationally. She was scared. Of what? He didn't know. he was going to learn.

Tears streamed down her face, "Bullshit. Get out." The pain in her heart was sharp. She physically felt the fear of Yoongi leaving. If it meant people would stop trying to get her to talk, she'd risk losing anyone.

"No."

She chuckled dryly, "What? This is my house. Get out!"

"Our house," Namjoon said from behind them. Clenching her jaw, she whipped her tears. It was bad enough Yoongi saw her crying.

"What do you want, Namjoon?" Her voice was monotone. Pulling her sweater sleeves over her wrists she crossed her arms.

Namjoon came closer, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Cut the crap, Y/n. We all know something is up."

"Fine!" She said, "Maybe Jungkook refusing to eat, Jin pulling a complete personality change on us, Taehyung in the hospital and the doctors saying there is a small chance he'll make it, my parents treating me like I'm not worth a damn, being everyone's emotional support which makes me not allowed to have problems, feeling my strength to keep fighting slowly disappear each day and the one thing keeping me here is you guys, my biological dad acting as if I don't exist, my family falling apart because no one can get their heads out of their asses, crying so much I'm physically ill everyday! I don't fucking know, Namjoon! What's wrong? What is wrong with me?" Her voice softened as she looked down at her feet, unable to hold back her tears she covered her mouth with her hand, "What's wrong with me?"

The two boys stayed silent staring at the broken girl. They had no clue this was going on. She seemed so strong. Smiling everyday and staying positive. They were so focused on the lies her lips craved they didn't look at the truths her eyes held. She was lost in a maze with no map.

"Y/n-" Yoongi started but he didn't get far. She pushed past Namjoon and left the apartment sobbing. Yoongi went to go after her but Namjoon held his arm. "Let me go. She can be anywhere!"

He shook his head, "We both know where she is. She needs a break. She needs to be alone so she can sort out her thoughts. Us chasing her isn't giving her that peace." He let go of the elder's arm.

"You're right."

He nodded, "Now, tell me what I walked into."

°·°//\\°·°

Forcefully opening the door of the studio, she fell in the doorway, unable to keep going. Her tears spilled out faster than she could catch her breath. Feeling her stomach turn, she rushed to the garbage can and threw up. Nothing new for her. Crying herself sick was a daily thing(if you are crying to the point of physical sickness pls seek help and talk to someone. It is very unhealthy and damaging both physically and mentally.).

Tears kept streaming down her face has she felt her head pound. Falling down from her sitting position, she feel asleep on the floor. Tear stained cheeks and messy hair.

Waking up a few hours later, she felt her head pound and body shake. Rubbing her temple, she pushed herself up from the floor. With no one to talk to, her art was her one escape. No one understood her thoughts better than her.