muse(ic)//mygxreader

15💬

It just started with Taehyung pulling him onto his lap. Jungkook feeding him a strawberry. They didn't plan on starring at each others lips. Taehyung didn't plan to place his fingers under Jungkook's chin. Jungkook didn't plan on leaning closer. They didn't plan on their lips meeting and moving in sync.

The artist put his hand on the back of the other's neck, kissing him deeper. The videographer started to play with the other's hair, making him groan.

The kiss became deeper. Their bodies pressed close to each other but both needing more closeness. Jungkook moved so his legs were wrapped around his waist.

The kiss eventually broke. Both panting hard, foreheads touching. A string of silvia between their lips.

"I thought you were straight," Jungkook chuckled.

Taehyung smiled, "I could say the same for you."

He stood up, pulling away from the other. "I am. I've never had feelings for a man. And I won't ever." He stared at the other, disbelief on his face.

"Jungkook-" Taehyung tried to reach out, but Jungkook slapped his hand away.

"Don't tell me that meant something!?"

He hesitated. "What was it then? Straight, same-sex friends don't kiss each other randomly! Especially with tongue, Jeon Jungkook!"

Jungkook backed up more from the older, "Heat of the moment. We're straight. This . . . this didn't happen!" His voice rose with every word.

"But it did," Taehyung tried to reason, "Kook, we need to talk about this. We can't pretend it didn't happen."

He shook his head, fear rising inside him.

I'm straight

I'm straight

I'm straight

"It didn't. There's nothing to talk about!" Jungkook started to leave.

"Jungkook-" Taehyung yelled but he left. Falling on the couch with a sigh, he felt wet tears stain his cheeks. Jungkook was right, it was in the moment. They were both straight. Both planning on asking out girls.

Getting up, he went into his art studio. Looking around, his eyes landed on the painting of Jungkook. He kept making jokes while Taehyung was working so he had painted his bunny smile.

His tears fell down faster.

Grabbing a pair of scissors, taking a deep breath, he tried to gather every bit of strength to destroy the painting. But he couldn't.

He wanted to tear it apart. To forget what had happened. To drive the scissors into the canvas and shred it the way his heart was. Every fiber of his being told him too. But he couldn't.

Dropping to his knees, he whispered, "Beautiful."

°·°·°//\\°·°·°

He ran from Taehyung's house. Thoughts swarmed his mind. He ignored how good his lips felt against the artists. How right it felt. He could support those around him for loving the same sex, but not himself. He was a straight. He had a crush on a girl. And so was Taehyung. So did he. He couldn't love a man. Not like that.

He didn't realize hot tears were rolling down his face. "Are you okay?" Someone asked.

Looking up, he saw Hawsa. He quickly stood up straight and wiped away his tears. Shit, worse timing. "Uh, yeah," He lied.

Coming closer to him, she wiped away his remaining tears, "Are you sure? You can talk to me, Kookie."

He looked so innocent. Confused. Like his world just turned upside down. He was lost. Stranded in the war zone of life and was wounded by the bullet of emotions.

"I don't want to be a burden."

"Oh, Jungkook," She gave him a look of pity he tried to look over. He didn't want anyone's pity. He wanted to know himself. "You will never be a burden to me. How about we go to my place?"

Jungkook's eyes widened. Her place? "I don't want to intru-"

"You won't be. I offered," She looked down on him again, "We don't need to talk about what happened if you don't want to. I just couldn't live myself if I didn't try to help you."

He thought for moment then nodded, "Okay."

°·°·°//\\°·°·°

Pouring another shot, Taehyung felt himself get drunker and drunker. The burning of alcohol down his throat has his mind began to cloud. Though, the image of the younger boy never blurred.

Giving up on the shot glass, he drank the whiskey straight from the bottle. Tears brimmed his eyes. "Why do you have to be such a beautiful, loveable, little bunny?" He asked no one, "Why is it so easy to be nervous near you? Do I love you? Is it you who holds my heart?"

He tried to deny the words that left his lips. But he knew, drunk words are sober truths.

He got up, holding onto the railing for support, and began to walk down the hall. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he tried to keep balance. "Jungkookie! Jungkookie, please! Talk it out with me . . .. Let me feel your lips one more time. Let me know what I feel!"

His words were slurred but the emotion was there. The desperation and confusion in his heart lead him astray.

Opening the bathroom door, he turned on the bath water. Cold water came out of the faucet. "Jungkookie," he helplessly whispered.

He got into the cold water, goosebumps spread all across his skin. He kept muttering the same thing, hoping somehow it'd be the answer to his confused heart.

°·°·°//\\°·°·°

"That wasn't even the funny part!" Jungkook commented.

Hawsa shook her head, pulling her feet up onto the couch, "No way. It got worse?"

"Better," He said, "Namjoon Hyung peeled literally half of each potato and put it in the pot. Jin Hyung started going off on him. Jimin,Yoongi, and Hobi Hyung couldn't stop laughing. Tae Hyung . . .," He dragged off his sentence. Recalling the last moment with him.

As if on cue, his phone started ringing. "What's up?"

His smile fell.

He felt the world stop.

He couldn't breathe.

He dropped his phone.

"Taehyung's in the hospital."

----------
I am alive.
I haven't been updating because I've been out of town and my mental health has been playing "you can see me. Now you can see me" with me for the past month.

I will try to update more. No promises. I hope you all are doing safe. When I went out of town, they closed roads because there was an open shooter at a protest. Please please be careful. Take the extra measures of safety. If it turns into a riot, please be safe. I worry for all of you. I can't go to protests because I have an injury that would prevent me from safely getting away if it turned into a riot but if I could I would be out there protesting till I lost my voice. And even then I'd still be doing it.

I love you all.
I purple you.

You nice, keep going.

--moarmytrash