loving someone / matty healy

𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙧𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙚𝙙/𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙙𝙚𝙣𝙞𝙚𝙙

After pacing around the school building for a while, in all honesty trying not to cry whilst also trying to avoid everyone I could, I eventually found Armaan. He was seated in the cafeteria, arm around someone with long dark hair, almost as raven as his, and I tried not to jump to conclusions.

My feet carried me faster than my mind was co-operating, almost as if I had went into auto-pilot. Before I knew it, I was standing in front of him, studying the situation in front of me. His friends, who I hadn't really been introduced to yet, looked up at me, looks of judgement on their faces that I failed to ignore.
As he looked up at me, his eyes widened, arm instantly removing itself from around the girl next to him, who was just looking up at me as if I was the most massive of inconveniences to her.

"Babe," Armaan began. "Are you coming to sit with us or something?"
I looked confusedly between him and the girl, having expected him to address their closeness, but he seemed to be making no moves to do so.
"Um, I was actually wondering if we could talk. You know, alone" I sent the most obviously false smile the muscles in my face were capable of forming at her.

"As long as you're not just gonna call me a pig again" His friends laughed, and I realised that he must have told them about our argument, and not in a way that made me look like a nice person. Ouch.

"As long as you don't act like one again" His friends 'Oooh'd and I wanted to deck them all. Then I wondered where that sudden burst of aggression came from. Oh well.
"Can it wait?" He asked, sighing, and I began to feel stupid standing there in front of them with my arms crossed.
"It's important to me"
He pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers, a bit dramatic, but I brushed it off when he finally stood up.

"I'll be back in a minute, guys" He announced to the boys and mystery girl at the table.
We walked outside to a quiet area, only occupied by benches and trees and younger kids who spent time by themselves reading.
"What's this about?" His leg was bouncing up and down, clearly desperate to be back inside with his friends.

"Who's that girl?" It wasn't what I had planned to talk to him about, but it was what I cared about now.
"What girl?"
I deadpanned. "Armaan, I don't know who you're trying to fool here"
"What? She's just a friend, I can't hang out with other girls?" He made a 'so what' gesture.
"You can, but it's not exactly nice to be accused of shagging your friend, which I haven't, and then seeing you with your arms around girls I've never met before" His double standards may as well be decahedrons at this point. 

"You're really bringing up that little shit again?"
"Why did the fight start?"
"What?"
"Why. Did. The. Fight. Start?" I asserted again.
He sighed. "I told you, Evelyn. He started it for no reason. Do you not believe me or something?" He laughed.
"No, I don't. And I don't find it funny either, Armie"

There was a long pause, taking his time looking at the ground, and then he finally looked back up at me. "Look, he was at that party, he'd had too much to drink, and he came over to me shouting his mouth off about how you can do better, and that wound me up. I reacted, okay? But it was only because I care about you."

The thought messed with my head far greater than I ever expected it to. Matty did start it? My insides screamed that that wasn't the truth, but the boy in front of me was telling me something the other boy was refusing to. I'd never doubted Matty before, and I didn't like doing it now.

"So Matty is the one that started it?" My voice was quiet, as if uttering those words almost inaudibly would take away their reality.
"That's what I just said, isn't it?" His reply was quick and sharp, and it put me on edge.
"O-okay then, so, that's that figured out then? Matty started it and it's not gonna happen again?" My hands were wringing together as they fidgeted on my lap, watching as Armaan just shrugged his shoulders.
"As long as he doesn't start on me again"

His nonchalance was troubling me, having just, as my boyfriend, revealed that my best friend started a brutal fight with him, and not seeming to care too much about how I would take that information. More specifically how I was taking the information. My heart felt heavy, chest weighed down by the burden of having to accept that one, or even worse, both, of the people I love aren't who they've made me think they were.

Do I sound dramatic as fuck? Probably. I just can't help but feel like I've been lied to by the two people I would never treat that way.