Cheers, T.S. Cruz (S.T.E. Series #2)

20

Chaste POV

"Lagi ka na lang umiiyak kapag nakikita mo puntod ni Dad. Stop crying li'l bro," pagpapatahan ng Kuya kong nasa likuran ko lang. Nakaupo ako sa damuhan at nasa harapan ko ang nitso ni Papa. Pagkatapos kong punasan ang salamin ko at isinuot ko ito agad pabalik dahil wala akong makita.

Sa murang edad pa lamang ay natutuhan kong malayo o hindi maranasan ang isang Daddy Figure. It was really hard for me to know that he wouldn't come back to our family anymore... Na hindi na muling mabubuo ang pamilya namin. Sa totoo lang naiinggit ako kapag may nakasasalubong akong kompletong pamilya. A family that has a father, mother, and their children.

Siguro masarap sa pakiramdam na ganoon. Siguro nga dahil hindi ko naman naranasan 'yon.

Tumayo naman ako atsaka pinunasan ang aking luha gamit ang likuran ng aking kamay, "Ilang taon na Papa na mawala ka sa amin," bulong ko.

"Mom didn't have the guts to reply to my text. She didn't even try to answer my calls too!" My Brother Cameron mentioned as we walked away from my father's grave. 

Wala naman akong magagawa roon. Palagi namang nagtatago si Mama tuwing anniversary of death ni Papa. Like she doesn't cared about him... Like she doesn't really loved him.

"What? Are you thinking of her again?" he asked. I saw his brows shot. I know that kuya doesn't want me to think of my Mama ever. 

"May sarili kang utak. May sarili rin akong utak. Gamitin mo 'yung sa'yo sa pag-iisip at gagamitin ko rin 'yung akin," banggit ko bago ako sumakay sa sasakyan. 

"I was joking for pete's sake, bro," natutuwang aniya. Our driver drove the car while my brother and I were in the back seat. He ruffles my hair and even tease me. "Oh, Ginoo! Lagi na lamang matatalim ang iyong ginagamit na salita."

"Manahimik, hambog!" pagsusungit ko sa kaniya. 

I thought that I'm going to feel relief at that time, but my nerves suddenly hurt. I felt pain both in my fingers and toes. I can't suddenly move that made me panic. 

After I felt those, I lost my consciousness. The last thing I knew was my brother carrying me inside the hospital.

And later at night, news destroyed my hope as I feel despair.

Tanging tunog na lamang ng heartbeat checker machine at ang tubig na dumadaloy sa akin mula sa saline bag ang nararamdaman at naririnig ko. I looked up at the ceiling while it was dark outside. 

I didn't even ask why I deserved it. I just asked, "Papa, sinusundo mo na ba ako?" bulong ko.

Siguro nga malapit na matapos ang buhay ko... siguro nga na makakasama ko na si Papa. Pero ang tanging pumasok sa isip ko ay ang pangarap at pamilya ko.

"Pa, huwag muna. Masyado pa akong bata," dugtong ko. I never thought that a tear would drop to my eyes. Lagi akong inaasar parati na iyakin daw ako masyado. Na ambabaw ko para umiyak. But I never use those to manipulate me. Dahil alam kong hindi masama ang magpakita ng kahinaan. 

That time, I thought na katapusan ko na. Akala ko hindi ko na muli makikita ang pagsapit ng araw. I am too young for this remorseless struggle. 

"Li'l bro?" I heard a knock on my door and I saw my kuya behind it. "How are you? Mom wants to talk with you?" He gave me the phone he was holding.