PROMPT: You've been in love with Tom since... forever, really. You always wanted to tell him this but just didn't know how. But now... it's too late.
OTHER: I'm writing this in the style of a suicide note
Dear Tom,
There are so many things you don't know.
You don't know how angry, how scared, how guilty I feel. You could've known. You could've understood. But I put it off.
I didn't tell you what you meant to me because I was a coward. I was afraid that I would be teased, or that you would reject me. So instead of going in, instead of shooting my shot, I tried to escape it.
I tried to tell myself that this feeling was bad, that it was childish. "A simple puppy-crush," I told myself. "It'll pass."
I was wrong.
I wallowed in lovesickness and self-hatred for twelve years. I never convinced myself to stop.
Because I was too stupid.
A little part of me was too stupid, too naive to realize that we would never be a thing. The other, bigger, louder part of me wasn't much better. It was cowardly and lazy. I never had any motivation to oblige to either side.
So I stayed in this horrible limbo.
I wanted to let you know, I really did. I wanted nothing more than to have this horrid burden lifted from my shoulders. But I was too cowardly, too stupid to shoot my shot, to see where we would lead.
I can't believe I waited until the man I loved was erased. I can't believe I waited for him to be replaced by an emotionless, mindless drone who knew only the thrill of blood. I can't believe I waited until it was too late.
But I did.
So I'll say it now, just in case a sliver of my old crush still exists.
I love you, Tom.
You've always been my light, always been the reason to keep going. You set me up for happiness, always putting me first. Your sarcasm and sass were always the highlights of my day, and I always loved it when you would play your bass late at night to comfort yourself after a long day. Did you know it gave me comfort as well?
I should've said this all in person, I know, but I'm a coward.
That much is clear.
The letter was hard to make out, tears smudging the ink and blurring the letters together, but it was still readable.
For the first time in ten years, Tom felt his eyes swell with tears. For the first time in ten years, a fire struck his heart. For the first time in ten years, Tom remembered.
