Rebel Knights

Chapter 8

Friday afternoon finally arrives after what felt like years instead of days. Chaplin will be here in fifteen minutes and I'm freaking out as I have no idea what we're going to talk about. Pacing back and forth in the living room, my mind is coming up with horrible 'what-if' scenarios of what he wants to talk about and what could happen due to the topics. Turning around once I've reached the window that faces the driveway and realize Chaplin isn't here yet, I walk right into Jamenson - who promptly wraps me in his arms and brings me fully into his body. 

His right hand goes to the back of my head to hold it onto his shoulder as his left hand clamps onto my hip before gently rocking us side to side. My eyes close instantly as I wrap my arms around his lean waist, I become almost pliant in his hold - he's warm, safe and secure and everything a parent should be. My anxiety starts to tapper off to a tolerable level as I inhale his Axe cologne and lavender scented body wash. Between his scent and the swaying motion is helping me calm down, and I tighten my hold on his waist, I change my stance against his body, and several minutes later, Jamenson pulls back slightly so we can see each other's face, and he smiles softly at me. 

Pulling away I say; "Thank you, Jamenson."

His smile grows as he signs; 'You're welcome, love. Are you feeling better now?'

"Yes, thank you. Why do I need to talk to Chaplin? Does everyone think I'm crazy and that's why I have to talk to him?" I sniffle out with teary eyes. 

I'm instantly brought back into Jamenson's hold and rocked side-to-side again, while I break down into gut-wrenching sobs. Jamenson runs his fingers through my hair at the back of my head as I cry uncontrollably into this chest. I know Jamenson is talking to someone because his chest is vibrating against my ear and side of my face, but I don't care who he is talking too or about what. 

I'm calming down with the swaying and every time he drags his fingers down my hair, he lightly scratches my scalp. Once I'm down to sniffling, I bring myself away from his comfort to find Christian, Gabriel, Jaxson and Chaplin in the room with us. Wipping my face clear of the tears and snot with the sleeves of my shirt, I'm not even embarressed about my tears or questions - I think I needed a good cry, and to cry and ask what is on my mind before my anxiety made a worse apperance then it already has. 

"Why is everyone here?" I ask, biting my lower lip. 

'We came for dinner and to spend time with you guys,' Christian signs as he doesn't meet my eyes; uh-huh, that isn't the full truth, and his refusal to meet my eyes is his tell-tale sign that he isn't being fully honest with me.

"Chrissy, stop lying and tell me the full truth," I demand of him with a scowl.

'Fine. Chaplin is a psychatrist who can help you deal with everything, and we're here for moral support,' Christian slowly signs while biting his lower lip in guilt. 

"Not happening. I'm not talking to him with everyone present, and definitly not when I've been lied to about the real reason he wanted to talk to me," I say backing toward the door as Jamenson tried grabbing me by the good arm to stop me. "I thought we were a family, and family isn't supposed to lie to each other, but you all think I'm crazy and just want me fixed."

Breathing heavilly, I make a mad dash for the door, and make it ten feet outside before I'm hauled back into a strong chest - Jaxson. Struggling in his hold while screaming out my frusterations on everything. I don't stop screaming or struggling until Roman suddenly appears in front of us, and Jaxson lets go of me. 

Instead of hugging him like I'm sure everyone thought I was going to do, I hit him repeatedly on the chest while screaming at him; "You left when I needed you the most! You promised to be there for me, and you left me alone and terrified! I let you in my walls and all you did was leave! Everyone but Chrissy, who is the only one who truly loves me, has left when I needed them the most!"