When The Festival Is Over

Hangovers & Guilt

I passed out on the floor in my clothes. I didn't see what happened after Noah walked out of my room last night. My mind went blank & shut completely down.
I stood up and made my way through the house to access the damage. It was clean. Someone had taken the trash out, put the snacks up and everyone was gone of course. I walked over to the front door remembering that I hadn't even locked it up last night when everyone left, then I saw Noah passed out on my couch. Jesus Christ why is he here still? I felt like all the blood drained from my face, oh fuck I was gonna puke. I sprinted like an Olympian to the bathroom and barely made it to the toilet before it all forced its way up. I'm never drinking again I lectured myself in my head. I laid my face against the cold porcelain toilet seat like the piece of shit that I felt like I was right now. I closed my eyes, head still hanging over the toilet.
"Drink this." I opened my eyes to a bottle of blue Gatorade and Noah standing against the bathroom door frame. Why was he still here I thought to myself but didn't have the strength to ask. I could barely keep my eyes open and my head was pounding from crying all night.
I felt warmth on my back. Noah was rubbing it telling me it was going to be Okay. I shakily stood up and stumbled over to the sink to rinse my mouth and face. I went to walk out of the bathroom and fell backwards. He caught me. "Woah, woah, woah Rae, fuck. I gotchu it's okay. We were in a side hug position, he was supporting about 75% of my weight. "Noah....I'm dizzy..." I whispered. He walked me to my to room and helped me onto my bed.
"I'll be right back, I'm gonna get the Gatorade and see if you have any crackers or something." He explained. I was dizzy and tired but I needed out of these clothes. I slipped off of the bed and crawled on all fours to my dresser. I pulled out a pair of sweats and a tshirt. I managed to get my jeans off but my limbs could not muster the energy to get the fucking body suit off. Noah came in. "Oh shit I'm sorry I didn't know you were changing....Rae, I'm not tryin to be a creep I swear but do you need help?" He asked. I fell back on the floor and started sobbing.....again. He walked over and knelt down beside me. "Tell me what you need Rae." He spoke softly.
Through my sobbing I replied "I need last night to not be real, I need my head to stop throbbing, I need the room to stop spinning and I need this goddamn bodysuit off" I hollered. He moved behind me, helped me sit back up and unclasped the back of the bodysuit and pushed the straps off of my shoulders. "You can handle the rest." He said. He walked out of the room and shut the door softly. I tore it off of my body and dragged myself to the shower.
I got out, brushed my teeth, threw on my sweats and Billie's hoodie she left here. It still faintly smelled like her. I grabbed the Gatorade, chugged half of the bottle and forced myself to eat a few of the saltine crackers he found for me. At least the dizziness was gone at this point. I got up and walked out to the living room. He was sitting on the couch looking at his phone.

"Noah...I don't know what the right thing to do or say is right now.....But thank you for helping me & for not leaving my house unlocked all night long while I was blacked out. And I'm sorry that I have been such a cunt. And I shouldn't have placed all the blame on you for the kiss. It's not like I pulled away immediately." I explained. He leaned back on the couch. "I'm sorry for kissing you. It was disrespectful and shitty." He said looking over at me. I glanced at the ground. I didn't know what to say anymore. "Well, I'm okay now & probably just going to sleep the rest of the day if you wanna get outta here." I said. He nodded his head. "Yeah, okay." I walked over to the door with him. He opened it and stopped on the stoop outside the door. "I really am sorry Rae." He said. "I'll figure it out." I replied. "I'll see you Monday then....have a good day" he waved awkwardly and headed out to his car. I shut the door and locked it.

I fell asleep in bed watching TV for awhile before my phone woke me up. It was Bil FaceTiming. I felt nauseous.
"Hey mamas!" She said excitedly. She was outside somewhere.

I was laying down with my phone propped up on a pillow. " Hey Bil." I replied.
"You okay mamas??? You look like shit." She seemed concerned.
I'm sure I do" I giggled.
"I drank too much babe, got sick, been in bed all day. I'll recover eventually." I replied.
"Aye so you musta had a little fun right?" She smiled. My heart sank. I laughed nervously, "yeah, it was okay........do you have a show today?" I asked. "Yeah in like an hour. Fuck I wish you were here, it's so beautiful." She explained.
"You're beautiful." I replied. She was embarrassed "Stawwwwp it!" She laughed. "Alright well I gotta get in here and get ready. I'll call you in a few hours. I gotta meet and greet tonight too cuz it's the last show."
She explained. "Okay baby. Have fun and be safe. I miss your fucking face." I said.
"Did you just say you miss fucking my face Rae!?" She teased. "Stop being a tease Eilish!" I laughed.
"Alright mama, get some rest. I wish I was there to take care of you but I'll holler at you later."
"Bye Bil." I hung up.
I rolled over and shut my eyes again.
Then my phone dinged, "Ugh what now!?" I complained to myself.

📱Bil- Bouta go on. Can't stop thinking about you mamas. Call you later 😘

Jesus fuck she is so beautiful.

📱Rae- goddamnit can you stop being so fucking sexy!!!?? 😍

I sat my phone back down and shut my eyes again. I am so fucking in love with this girl.