Our Way Home

Chapter 11

"....I can't bring myself to ever forgive him."

"Is that why you have trust issues?" I nod.

"I guess the reason why I've been avoiding him lately is that there's that small chance that he'll let me down and my trust will be broken."

"Aren't friendships meant to be tested behind someone's back? Isn't that the definition of trust? If we're always cautious of everyone around us are we ever really living at all?" I smile at him.

"Where were you when I needed a therapist?"

"Well, I might as well tell you I have some experience with therapists. You see my mom died when I was really young and then my sister died a few years after that. Growing up I never had a good relationship with my dad. He was barely around and always came home really late.

One night he came home completely drunk and was yelling at me and my older sister." His voice is shaking along with his body.
"My sister tried calming him down but the more she tried the more mad he got. I watched him hit her with a bottle. I just sat there and let her bleed out and die. I could have done something for her I should have done something. But I was so weak and pathetic that I was scared he would hit me too.

My dad has been in jail for the last ten years and I haven't seen him once since. After that, I was put in the system and I've been living with my foster dad up until now.
For so many years I blamed myself for her death. I haven't talked like this to anyone for a long time. It feels normal to trust someone like you." I squeeze his shaky hand.

"I'm really glad you opened up to me about this. I wasn't expecting to cry this early in the morning but still."

"I should be the one crying silly!" He wipes away a tear from my eye.

"Despite what happened you shouldn't have to blame yourself for something that happened in the past. It wasn't your fault you know that right?"

He takes a deep breath. "Don't make me start crying now alright? I hate people seeing me like that."

"It's okay to be vulnerable once in a while. You can always cry when it's necessary."
I pull him in for a hug.

"I won't look I promise."
He tightens his grip on my shirt.

"Thank you."
I see our fifteen-passenger van pull up in the driveway. The rest of the day Jared tried his best to remember everyone's name which was amusing. I'm pretty sure he felt the intimidation from my dad but they talked it out. I walk him outside when he decides to go.

"I'll see you tomorrow." He gives me one last hug before he leaves. It's hard to think he was once that stone-cold jerk face who I hated for so long. When in reality he is just a big teddy bear that was wounded at a young age. For some reason, I almost don't want him to go. Just for a little while longer I want to stay here in his arms.