It's All About You ⌘ Joe Sugg ✓

Chapter 51

I listened to these songs while writing this chapter:
The Scientist - Coldplay
Stay - Rihanna

Caspars POV

The apartment is suddenly empty of all noise as Eila and Joe slam the door shut. I tear my eyes away from the editing screen in front of me and instead focus on the shiny wood floor, which is starting to become quite dusty.

I don't know what the hell has gotten into Laura - when Eila asked me where she was I lied and feigned dismissiveness, but in actual fact I don't have any idea where she is. Her and I have only spoken a little bit this week and each time has been a little bit off. She never seems to want to hang around for more than a few minutes before taking off and saying "I'm busy...". It's been hard - it's like there's this dull ache settled in my stomach, whether it's being worried for her or just missing her, it's starting to become unbearable. I pick up my phone and dial her number for probably the 100th time this week, not expecting to get an answer.

I lift the phone up to my ear while biting my lip into shreds, desperate to hear her husky voice again. Like usual she doesn't answer, and the only sound I hear is the beeping of a dial tone.

I'm going to go absolutely crazy if I don't find out what's wrong soon.

I slam my laptop shut and walk to the door of our apartment, debating whether or not I should let myself into her apartment to find some clue as to where she is. I force my feet to walk towards her front door. I open the door slowly, being careful not to make too much noise - I don't know why I'm bothering, there's no one here anyway. It surprises me that the door is unlocked especially because it seems to be empty.

Her usually messy, unorganised apartment is suddenly gone - instead I see an almost bare room, boxes of things lying around on the wooden floor. I get a sickening flash of dejavu to when I first came in this room, when we first met and things were so confusing. I feel a pang of realization in my stomach as I take in the open suitcase on the floor, clothes strewn all around it in preparation for departure. Departure. She is obviously leaving the country, taking all of her belongings with her... It can only mean one things - My Laura, the girl I have fallen head over heels for, is going away and not coming back.

All of the air rushes from my lungs and suddenly my heart is pounding, even though I am standing completely still. This can't be happening - she can't be leaving me now, just a few days ago she was telling me how I saved her. How even just my touch can pull her out of a rut. How I make her smile even when I'm not being funny. Suddenly I am finding it difficult to breathe, the panic starting to build up inside me causing me to grip my hair in my hands.

This has to be a joke. There is no way in hell she would just up and leave me, no warning given whatsoever. I shakily pull out my phone and dial her once more, praying to whatever god there is that she answers. I am about to hang up when I hear Laura's ringtone sounding throughout the whole apartment, accompanied by the creaking of footsteps on the floor. I turn to look at the front door, lowering the phone from my ear.

Laura's blue eyes meet mine and I watch them widen immensely, a look of panic taking over her face. Her soft lips open slightly, her mouth forming an 'O' shape. Her gaze flits around the apartment, to her half packed suitcase and the cardboard boxes scattered around.

"Caspar... I'm so sorry, I was going to tell you..." Her voice sounds shaky and uncertain - something which I am not used to hearing from her.

"Tell me what? That you're leaving me?" My voice cracks unintentionally on the last syllable, and I honestly feel like I'm drowning.

"Caspar it's more complicated than that..." She says the words with a resigned tone, her gaze flicking to the floor in defeat. I can't understand how she looks so calm - I feel like a boat on stormy seas, just one inch from capsizing.