independent ~ adjective : free to think or act for yourself : not relying on someone else for support, guidance
When I finally woke up I was in my own bed. It was cold and I could hear rain patter on the window. I turned to my left and spotted my phone on my beside table. Absentmindedly, I reached for it and picked it up. The weight if it weighed down my arm.
It's 2pm on the fourth of October, a Sunday. I remember going for chemo on the first so I think I've been asleep a few days.
I unlocked my phone. Thirty three new text messages. Wow. I tapped the green square that shows me my new text and, unsurprisingly, thirty of the thirty three texts were from Louis.
I'm not bothered to tell you what all thirty were but I'll sum it down to the gist of things and my favourites.
Lewis: WHERE R U
Lewis: seriously where im worried
Lewis: why rnt u in skl
Lewis: ur acc lucky cos mr.churchill is so boring rn
Lewis: can I come over after skl to check on u
Lewis: I'm not takin no as a answer so I'm comin over
Lewis: omg ur mom was so confused when I came over but she let me in to see u sleep u look so beautiful
Then Louis sent me a picture on me asleep which wasn't too beautiful. I laughed at the picture but then stopped because I was laughing at myself. Nice one Krissy.
Me: hey loui I just woke up please come over and comfort me bring Leeyum.
Louis replied instantly.
Lewis: omg I'm so happy ur awake I thought u were ignoring me how can u sleep for that long!!! Nd sure thang xxx c u in 30 x
My other texts were from Liam.
Leeyum: hope ur feeling ok xx
Leeyum: heard chemo was shit ): x
Leeyum: text me when u wake up <3 xxx ly
Me: I'm awake come over in 30 mins with Lou xo
Liam texted me a quick smiley face and a 'hope you feel better see you soon' text.
I threw my phone to the other side of my bed and flung my legs to the ground. I noticed I was wearing fluffy pyjamas pants and a huge tee shirt that probably belonged to my brother. I stood up and walked to the kitchen. My mom, dad and brother were at the counter eating some food. My stomach rumbled.
"Hi." I sniffled as I dragged my feet to where my mom sat. I propped my arms over her back and gave her a hug.
"Honey, you're awake!" My mom, Lucie, announced.
"How d'you feel, Kriss?" My dad asked, rubbing my back.
"Fine." I shrugged. "Li and Lou are coming over in a bit." I informed my parents and put some bread into the toaster.
"Alright." My mom smiled. "Do you want anything, honey? I'll make it?"
"No, mom. I can make it myself." I shoo my head. Although I was sick, I was still as independent as I was a few months ago. I didn't want to put loads of work onto my parents and become lazy.
I stayed quiet until my toast popped then I buttered it and went back to my room and ate it. Just as I had finished it my mom and dad appeared in the door way.
"Krissy, we have to tell you something." My dad spoke, coming dither into my room and sitting on the bed.
I turned in my desk chair to face my parents. "Shoot."
"Well, it's about the cancer." My mom started. Ah, shit. "When you passed out on Thursday, Peter, um... Dr. Benz, told me it's because you aren't reacting to the chemo well."
"So I'm gonna die." I assumed blankly.
"No, no. Don't be pessimistic about this, sweetheart. Try and stay positive." My dad said quickly.
"Your father's right, Kristina. Dr. Benz said maybe we should try something else." My mother went on.
"Like what?" I asked.
"Like radiotherapy." My dad answered.
"And each session take only about ten minutes and is completely painless." Mom smiled.
"Okay. I'll try it." I mumbled, open mindedly.
"Great." My mother smiled again and turned to leave then stopped. "Oh, yes. There is another thing." Fuck.
"Ugh." I spat.
My mother sighed. "They've found you have another cancer."
"Yay." I sighed. "What is it?"
"Thyroid, in your neck. Dr. Benz did some tests on you when you were asleep and did an ultrasound on Friday. He just confirmed it."
"Is it curable?" I asked, with low expectations.
"No." My mom said slowly. I felt like I was gonna cry.
"Okay. Thank you." I swallowed and turned into my desk again.
"Can we do anything for you, honey?" My mom sobbed. I hated when she cried but it was becoming a regular occurrence.
"No. Just send Liam and Louis you when they arrive. Thanks." I muttered. My parents left after saying 'okay, We love you'. Ugh, it made me gag.
Liam and Louis arrived ten minutes later and embarrassingly caught me crying into an old stuffed toy.
"Krissy..." Liam whispered as the two boys made their way to my swivel chair and hugged me simultaneously.
"Did my parents tell you?" I sniffed as I wiped my eyes.
"Yeah..." Louis half smiled comfortingly.
"Great," I sighed. I watched Liam and Louis take a seat on their beanbags. Louis wrapped himself in a blanket and Liam picked up one of my old teddies and snuggled it. They were so childish.
"Guys, I feel helpless." I cried, as tears washed down my face again. "And I'm gonna, like... die."
"Hey, hey. Don't say stuff like that," Liam comforted. "You're gonna be okay."
"I know I'm gonna die Li, don't try and make it better," I snapped. I immediately regretted my tone as it felt mean. "Sorry."
There was silence for a few moments before Louis spoke.
"You should make a bucket list," he suggested.
"What's that?" I asked.
"A list of things you want to do before you... die." Louis answered. I hated how he said die, like he was afraid of the word. Everyone's gotta die. I was just young.
"Okay." I replied. I really should keep an open mind. Now that I've been told my new cancer is incurable I really shouldn't be too pessimistic. It will probably kill me quicker. "Let's make a bucketlist.''
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Before I Die | Lilo AU
Fanfiction'Ms. Cooper, you have Leukemia.' My Guardian Angels Age fifteen, Krissy Cooper is diagnosed with leukaemia and starts chemotherapy immediately. One month after her diagnosis, things aren't better. Her hair may be starting to grow back a bit, but she...
