The Brightest Stars

Annabelle

I stare up at the stallion statue. The one place that's supposed give me some sort of revelation. Something I can renovate within myself.

Instead I get nothing...

I dig in my leather jacket for my inhaler. I've noticed that ever since he's been gone, I use my inhaler more often.

I put it away and keep looking up at the statue. The stars seem dim tonight compared to the pretty lights of downtown. It all seems dull to me.

I hear footsteps on the sidewalk. I don't look who it is. It must be another couple out on Valentine's Day. I stop myself from wondering what I would be doing tonight with Max instead of looking up at this lifeless stallion.

"I thought I'd find you here." AJ stands beside me as he does his small smile up at the statue. "What are you doing out alone?"

"I wasn't supposed to be alone tonight..."

"I'm sorry."

I sigh at these words. They are so familiar now. Everyone in school tells me this. I can mimic their sorrowful expressions. Only for a second, and then they forget about him. Sometimes I can be like them. So easy to forget.

"Are you planning to stare up at this statue all night?"

I shrug at these words and say, "What else can I do? I don't want to be home alone because Hannah took her little girl to the date. My sister, Ainoha, has a date with Jason tonight. I can't even look at Ricardo and Valeria after.....And I'm too weak to face my father tonight."

"I guess Kristen is not on the list--"

"Because she's out on a date with Nate. Yeah..."

"Huh." AJ looks at me this time and smiles. "Seems like we're still connected." I look over at him and though my expression is blank, deep down I have mixed feelings of confusion and anger over these words. He slightly leans to one side to whisper, "I haven't been feeling very connected with you lately..."

I scoff at his quiet smile and say, "How do you want me to act like nothing happened? Do you not miss him?"

Sadness runs through his expression as he clenches his jaw. "I do. I miss him very much. Maybe not as much as you....but I also miss your smile."

A tear escapes from my eye and I quickly wipe it away. "He was the main reason for my smile."

"C'mon Ana. I know it's hard, but a girl with such a sweet smile like yours shouldn't be grieving tonight."

A hint of anger shoots up in my veins. "Then what do you suggest I do instead of grieving?"

AJ ignores my hint of annoyance and his expression turns into a thoughtful one. His smile is small when he says, "Let's do what you taught me." I furrow my brows and he smiles wider. "You taught me to grieve by bringing the best memories of that person."

I stop myself from reacting with anger, but I have to remind myself he's only trying to help me. It's what all my friends are trying to do recently. Only Kristen seems to know how to approach me nowadays...

I give him a small smile and say, "So what? Do you expect me to just talk about him and not--" I stop myself as I feel my lips start to quiver. I clear my throat and say, "I can't...um...do what you want me to do..."

As I fight back tears, AJ watches me quietly. There's that softness in those dark eyes as he sighs and says, "I know. But it's worth the try." He looks over at me and I give him a smile. He turns towards me and crosses his arms on his broad chest. "Alright. Tell me a good memory about him."